The why's and the how's

I pondered today the reasons for us all walking around and having to re think our beliefs in ourselves? I'm not talking about religious ones,but the ones that make us doubt who and what we are. Why do so many of us have to have a re wiring, so to speak? I'm talking turning to myriad therapies , self help books , self help guru's , masters of life and more? Why do we not hold onto the strong, steadfast and clear convictions imprinted in us from birth and allow others tell us we don't have such clarity, we don't have rights, we don't have a say? The layers of this bombardment starts to imprint themselves into our being in such deep rooted layers ,it can be hard to remove.

Pretty big ponder hey!!

It is said , we are influenced by not only this up bringing and the people we interacted with, but of those from our past lives also. If we have continually been met with negatives , were did it start , all this lack of love and disharmony expressed by others towards us ? Is it almost necessary in our human existence? Do we need to feel this push and pull to be human? Where did this disconnect with the universe start? This disconnect that makes others (and ourselves) , judge , criticise , fear control and put down. If they express it , then it was expressed to them and so it goes, further back and back and back and back. This interaction throughout our existence takes us away from the purity of who we are and the work we do in our lives, to slough this off and re learn- or remember our reason for being - takes us back to our connection to what we came from , which is pure clear and amazing unconditional love.

I found out today that Louise Hay , of the book "You can heal your life" , has now got a movie of the book. It struck me this afternoon , the funny synchronism with actually picking up that book again a few weeks ago, before I even new of the film and the books subsequent comeback 20yrs after its 1st release ! Someone must have been telling me to have a delve again as I have another symbol of this suggestion below.

I will be honest and say that I'm not finding it easy. It talks of ownership of ones own reality and how ones own thoughts create this reality. I agree in principal , that yes , ones outlook can somewhat change what is seen. If you feel negative , you see negatives and visa versa with positives also. I'm just at odds with the feeling that its our fault that we : have cancer , get hit by a loved one(verbally or emotionally), don't get the job we want , or just have an off day. Don't get me wrong , I do think emotions and state of mind , what we ingest and the air around us all have an effect on our health and well being. I just feel there's much more to it , than feeling as we have ourselves to blame and can be wholly in control of these happenings, especially if you delve into the realms of re incarnation and our reasons for doing so.

Why the need to read these books ? For me , Im right now waiting for support through cognitive behavior therapy , that may take weeks to come through, (this is not easy for me to disclose , so more on that another time). In the meantime , to feel I have somewere to look for clues , I will continue my work alone through others who have succeeded in mastering life somewhat. As Ive mentioned before in posts Ive had a re visiting of my old demons and some difficult situations in my life , that to be honest , I don't always know how to deal with. I'm looking inwards , so I don't have to walk around with it and have it bind me and hold me tight in my being , so I don't have to wear metaphorical shields over my eyes through fear of being seen and heard. As a tangent ,I had this symbolised twice to me ,in 2 separate psychic oracle card (tarot) readings at circle this week. Both had women either covering their own eyes with hands , or with a blindfold , both figures wrapped or bound in fabric or ties and both enclosed within a barrier. A major message you think?

As stated before in another post ,delving isn't painless, in fact it uncovers things that are covered by addictive shopping , alcohol abuse, drug abuse , food abuse , Internet addiction and any extreme distraction or excess in something that gets over the top and used in order to pretend we are OK or to try and not notice the pains and discomforts. I use these as examples of addictions and not my own , (although shopping may fall into that, I blush now) , but the many things , we as people use.

I know I need to do the work and I have this weird combination of looking forward to it and dreading the intensity of whats discovered. I'm taking it all slow and Ive only just re read the 1st 2 chapters , so I will come back and report on more of my feelings about this "life manual", some time soon.

On a positive note and in relation to the symbolism in going back to this book, my lovely friend chlo , of mee crafty , sent me the heart I commissioned from her a few weeks back , Thank you (little cupcake went and found her own home for it, how sweet!).

Back to the link. Whilst looking at the trailer for the said film , a flash of the front page of heal your life book came up, well what do you think it reminded me of ?

Have a look here :

What do you think ? Its the combination of colours used together that blew me away!!!

I also found this intriguing list this evening whilst writing this post . Its from a website I frequent called Universal Consciousness , a place for light workers and healers to come together and discuss the world unseen. Quite apt for me this evening.

As a lovely end to one of my more intense posts , have a look at this from my Eastbourne trip

ahhhhhhhhhh , all that calm blue sea , wonderful , I just wanted to stand there all day.

Its very important I take all these with me mum, this is serious work!

My smiley aqua eye girl

Finding ourselves having to go through Tunbridge Wells as a diversion to get home. Doesn't it feel like your in the car and moving? Very strange sensation.