Thursday, 26 February 2009

Coping through the crazies!

Right now I'm literally sitting amongst the debris that was my home! No there's not been an act of god , but an act of builders! Instead of having a client I am the client! For the last few months I have been in long discussion with a Kitchen designer , lighting suppliers and a building team. Ive had fun creating a crisp, fun & striking environment that works much better for the family and updates our home. As lovely and homely as it was , it didn't really work well and storage has always been an issue. We are so looking forward to living in a much more ergonomically laid out setting. We've lived for nearly 7 years with fridges under stairs , doors crashing into each other, pots and pans spilling out all over, creaking plumbing and blocked pipes. This week most of that has GONE and hopefully so has the clogged up energy that was in it too!

Living amongst the carnage is an experience I'm not sure I'll repeat and every surface is covered in thick dust : I have floorboards, raw brick walls and up until yesterday, no ceiling! but despite all this I keep reminding myself how grateful I am to be able to do something like this. Its also been very exciting getting my interior design abilities out the cupboard for a dust off and it will be a thrill to see our design evolve in the next few weeks. Ive even helped a supplier springboard some new ideas in product development and image change with a commission for this build. They're also quite looking forward to see the finished article in place.

Another huge challenge has been the sudden medical state of my little big cupcake, literally the DAY AFTER the build started, 3 weeks ago, little big cupcake decided it would be good , alongside our house being cut to bits, to be rushed into hospital for several days, culminating in 3 hospital admissions in less than 4 weeks for the recurrence of the same symptoms ! Fraught , you will be! It started as a mystery infection, (appendix was thrown into the picture), in the lower abdomen area and eventually got diagnosed as a kidney infection- possibly! Ive really had to step up in protecting this little person I created and make sure she gets the care she needs to get to the bottom of things. Its been a mystery to everyone that it reoccurred so many times and further investigation will still be ongoing.

Whatever is going on , I'm feeling there is a much big picture at play, but right now , no ones given me the instruction book! I read recently that if I cant work that out , then I'm to leave it to the universe to make it pan out as it should and develop coping mechanisms in the meantime. Listening to Jenni Barnett's LBC slot on 25th Feb there was a discussion on how to manage the difficulties in life and stay optimistic. It was said we need to cultivate a thought pattern that appreciates the small things ; a nice cup of tea, a hot bath, a vibrant snack , a huge bowl of freshly made chicken soup (lovingly prepared by my dad & what a small blessing that was), a tight hug from another offspring, my hand held by my own mum and whatever else makes you sigh with relief of fill you with joy. Ive spent many years writing joy lists and making sure every day I find just a small kernel of comfort, but sometimes you get dragged into an intensity of concern that makes you forget to do that, especially when its to do with your child's health.

I definitely think these small things do make a difference in a day that if seen from a negative angle would have you reeling , but seen through the split second flashes and teeny moments of relief, change the whole perception and frankly allow you the stamina to get through days of constant hospital stay ins ! Although I will say honestly that in these last few days, I have been tested to my utmost in all and every which way! We don't have the easiest of patients in our blessed (her Hebrew name is Bruchah) , little cupcake and this ole mama has had to use every mental and physical muscle to calm and soother her 24/7! Its quite surreal living in one curtained cubicle on and off for weeks next to your child.

My whole little section of the universe has gone Topsy turvy, coming home to the chaos of the house in between each admission as you can see has been a real test of my metal. Initially the wreck of the house seemed to pale into the distance but I'm now home in the thick of it, or rather thrown out of the thick of it , as the builders have made it a no pass zone this week! Ive turned into a refugee of my locale! Ive spent the whole week bouncing from friends and family, house to house, passing the day trying to relax away from my own comforts yet again and bring myself back together and recharge, whilst little cupcake is bounding around at school like a jack jumped out of the box! If only I had the bounce back that a child has!

When my girls get ill like that , the world seems to stop turning on the outside , whilst we are living in a typhoon on the inside! As much as I could, I have I passed Reiki through to her and EFT tapped our way out of her heightened alarm at repeated needles, IVs and antibiotic flushes. My feet have literally not touched the ground and I think neither has my spirit! All I could hear was the quiet voice of a spirit guide whispering , hang on little bird, hang on. (That seemed to be my only connection with my guides over this time). Despite using several different grounding techniques Ive spent every day through this as if Id spin right out of my body!

Most have said you cant control these things that they will always be thrown at you in life, but for me I feel they happen for a reason and as I said before I cant always get to that reason straight away. Despite the emotions and thoughts (& worries)they create, Its really made me think about manifestation and law of attraction and Ive been trying to overlay that concept with whats been coming about in our little life here. And to coin a phrase from a favourite blogger at Back in Skinny Jeans , I am using a "health prosperity partner" right now to sort out what kinks there are in my armour and finally help me draw out what I don't need anymore that might be attributing to some of this picture, as my responses to the stress the last few years since becoming a mother have been less than balanced! (May be that's just being a human in the face of extreme situations and places kids take you too!).

What coping techniques have you used to get through several challenges that have come at once? Do you think there's a bigger situation than can be seen being played out when this happens? Do you feel that a state of mind and awareness will change events or will it just change our perception of them?

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Have I seen you lately?!

Its become apparent to me over the last few months the distance many of us have with each other. I also realised that many of our phones ring less & mobiles bleep more. The use of texting ,email, facebook , facebook email, twitter et al are wonderful and exciting mediums in the new wave of communication. I for one love interacting with others this way . I feel every day , especially on twitter, I take up new ways of thinking and have fun making new connections with others in a similar field and many who are not, BUT I feel we mustn't forget the need to connect with people on a real face to face level, voice to voice.

In the ever increasing need to be globally aware and think of our environment , our school has now gone electronic , we are no longer get given anything on paper , but via email. The pros are yes very paramount ; no waste , you cant lose an email as such , so there's no way you can say you haven't read it and you don't have loads of paper everywhere! The cons ; A feeling that there is a divide or separation. A feeling that may be you shouldn't speak to people in person , that they may be too busy or unavailable. I think this is happening on a social level also.

Many of us feel lost , alone and quite separate and I feel its only exaggerated by the very impersonal use of communication devices. Don't get me wrong I use all of the methods of communication mentioned and I think its a wonderful thing we have going, but how do we get back to feeling we can just simply talk, (like being round a campfire), or even just knock on a friends door and say lets have a cuppa? Or shockingly have a whole conversation that doesn't consist of text tennis and 20 of them by the time your finished!

Is it because of these methods that we have less time for real contact , or does it pave the way to have more? Have we actually saturated ourselves with communication and contact with others? How do you transition from having an online relationship to a real time live one?

I think the best remedy is to make sure that every week , real contact is made, instead of a text, facebook or twitter update, phone someone. Where possible, time permitting , location permitting ,(yes I know we cant all pop on planes and see others overseas), meet up , chat round a hot drink, have some face to face time.

Ive probably missed a whole gamut of new fandango communication devices in the video conferencing market or some such,(when businessing at home you really do have to keep more of an eye on the progression of things but Ive liked to keep my life simpler of late!) , although it has been some time since I used my web cam on MSN, may its time to warm it up again, or is that passe now!? For that matter , I haven't even tapped the possibilities of my Skype account either, so who needs to pay phone bills anymore!

What do you do to make sure your connected to people rather than just with words on a screen? Is your web cam always on? Or sometimes do we actually like being able to hide behind these screens, do we like not having to make physical or more human contact? Is the world so fast paced now , that its quite nice to choose when and how we speak? Do you have less phone calls or do you still like to philosophise together into the night?

On that note , wheres my phone!?!