Thursday, 26 February 2009

Coping through the crazies!

Right now I'm literally sitting amongst the debris that was my home! No there's not been an act of god , but an act of builders! Instead of having a client I am the client! For the last few months I have been in long discussion with a Kitchen designer , lighting suppliers and a building team. Ive had fun creating a crisp, fun & striking environment that works much better for the family and updates our home. As lovely and homely as it was , it didn't really work well and storage has always been an issue. We are so looking forward to living in a much more ergonomically laid out setting. We've lived for nearly 7 years with fridges under stairs , doors crashing into each other, pots and pans spilling out all over, creaking plumbing and blocked pipes. This week most of that has GONE and hopefully so has the clogged up energy that was in it too!

Living amongst the carnage is an experience I'm not sure I'll repeat and every surface is covered in thick dust : I have floorboards, raw brick walls and up until yesterday, no ceiling! but despite all this I keep reminding myself how grateful I am to be able to do something like this. Its also been very exciting getting my interior design abilities out the cupboard for a dust off and it will be a thrill to see our design evolve in the next few weeks. Ive even helped a supplier springboard some new ideas in product development and image change with a commission for this build. They're also quite looking forward to see the finished article in place.

Another huge challenge has been the sudden medical state of my little big cupcake, literally the DAY AFTER the build started, 3 weeks ago, little big cupcake decided it would be good , alongside our house being cut to bits, to be rushed into hospital for several days, culminating in 3 hospital admissions in less than 4 weeks for the recurrence of the same symptoms ! Fraught , you will be! It started as a mystery infection, (appendix was thrown into the picture), in the lower abdomen area and eventually got diagnosed as a kidney infection- possibly! Ive really had to step up in protecting this little person I created and make sure she gets the care she needs to get to the bottom of things. Its been a mystery to everyone that it reoccurred so many times and further investigation will still be ongoing.

Whatever is going on , I'm feeling there is a much big picture at play, but right now , no ones given me the instruction book! I read recently that if I cant work that out , then I'm to leave it to the universe to make it pan out as it should and develop coping mechanisms in the meantime. Listening to Jenni Barnett's LBC slot on 25th Feb there was a discussion on how to manage the difficulties in life and stay optimistic. It was said we need to cultivate a thought pattern that appreciates the small things ; a nice cup of tea, a hot bath, a vibrant snack , a huge bowl of freshly made chicken soup (lovingly prepared by my dad & what a small blessing that was), a tight hug from another offspring, my hand held by my own mum and whatever else makes you sigh with relief of fill you with joy. Ive spent many years writing joy lists and making sure every day I find just a small kernel of comfort, but sometimes you get dragged into an intensity of concern that makes you forget to do that, especially when its to do with your child's health.

I definitely think these small things do make a difference in a day that if seen from a negative angle would have you reeling , but seen through the split second flashes and teeny moments of relief, change the whole perception and frankly allow you the stamina to get through days of constant hospital stay ins ! Although I will say honestly that in these last few days, I have been tested to my utmost in all and every which way! We don't have the easiest of patients in our blessed (her Hebrew name is Bruchah) , little cupcake and this ole mama has had to use every mental and physical muscle to calm and soother her 24/7! Its quite surreal living in one curtained cubicle on and off for weeks next to your child.

My whole little section of the universe has gone Topsy turvy, coming home to the chaos of the house in between each admission as you can see has been a real test of my metal. Initially the wreck of the house seemed to pale into the distance but I'm now home in the thick of it, or rather thrown out of the thick of it , as the builders have made it a no pass zone this week! Ive turned into a refugee of my locale! Ive spent the whole week bouncing from friends and family, house to house, passing the day trying to relax away from my own comforts yet again and bring myself back together and recharge, whilst little cupcake is bounding around at school like a jack jumped out of the box! If only I had the bounce back that a child has!

When my girls get ill like that , the world seems to stop turning on the outside , whilst we are living in a typhoon on the inside! As much as I could, I have I passed Reiki through to her and EFT tapped our way out of her heightened alarm at repeated needles, IVs and antibiotic flushes. My feet have literally not touched the ground and I think neither has my spirit! All I could hear was the quiet voice of a spirit guide whispering , hang on little bird, hang on. (That seemed to be my only connection with my guides over this time). Despite using several different grounding techniques Ive spent every day through this as if Id spin right out of my body!

Most have said you cant control these things that they will always be thrown at you in life, but for me I feel they happen for a reason and as I said before I cant always get to that reason straight away. Despite the emotions and thoughts (& worries)they create, Its really made me think about manifestation and law of attraction and Ive been trying to overlay that concept with whats been coming about in our little life here. And to coin a phrase from a favourite blogger at Back in Skinny Jeans , I am using a "health prosperity partner" right now to sort out what kinks there are in my armour and finally help me draw out what I don't need anymore that might be attributing to some of this picture, as my responses to the stress the last few years since becoming a mother have been less than balanced! (May be that's just being a human in the face of extreme situations and places kids take you too!).

What coping techniques have you used to get through several challenges that have come at once? Do you think there's a bigger situation than can be seen being played out when this happens? Do you feel that a state of mind and awareness will change events or will it just change our perception of them?

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