Tuesday, 29 July 2008

10 songs

The first iPod??
Image care of Stoker at safety joke

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and
one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you
picked the songs you did)"

Here's my current playlist. Its sorta jumbled and eclectic. I often play them in the car when doing my little tiddles taxi service and I get asked to play several of them over and over!

Some are from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back , some are different versions of my own as I cant find them , some are fun , ones about being persistent , some are about introspection or not being introspective, some are about love and relationships whether its the difficult bits or the joy of it . Alot just speak to me on different levels . Its all a bit of mix like me really !

  1. Closer by Ne-Yo (I'm feeling the bit about "I just cant stop")
  2. Try Again by Aaliyah
  3. American Beauty by Thomas Newman
  4. Don't Look Back by Telepopmusik (little cupcake has just said this reminds her of summer)
  5. Para un Angelito by Monica Ramos
  6. With every heartbeat by Robyn (cupcake shouts the words out to this in the back of the car!)
  7. 1 Thing by Amerie
  8. Whenever Wherever by Shakira
  9. Versions of Violence by Alanis Morissette
  10. Think about me by Artful Dodger

If you want to listen Ive added the play list widget at the bottom of my blog.

Monday, 28 July 2008

Spirit intervenes

It seems they want me to STOP !!!

Sometimes you just have to stop as you have no choice; Stop the dialogue, stop the brain activity, stop talking, stop writing, stop running around and just BE. It’s not been easy and in some cases we just had to - well sort of, having been to 5 different social events including 2 parties in 5 days!!- hence the reason for so little posting - I apologise for anyone who actually reads this stuff and enjoys the lid being removed from my head every now and again, for having nothing fresh to write about for nearly a week except my nostalgic and sentimental video- more about the reasons for that soon!

Over the weekend and in less than 48hrs all our lights blew and the house was in total darkness, the front door bust and it could not be locked or unlocked, and we had to stay at home all day Saturday for the locksmith and electrician to rescue us! Then over the last few days my laptop keeps freezing and yesterday I found that the pads of my toes and just below are all swollen and sore, except I don’t recall having any accident or hurting myself, strange huh? It’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened either.

I realise I don't sit down and I'm not in my house for most of the day. When home I'm running up and down the garden rescuing little pickles and cupcakes, washing up, cooking, bathing kids and getting us all ready to go out. When out I’m, shopping, collecting or dropping off cupcake , involved in training classes for Reiki and mediumship on Sundays every few weeks, rushing to get to circle in the evening middle of the week or some other evening school social event or just standing here at the laptop writing for my 2 blogs.

All of it involves activity (non stop), whether it be of the mind and body or with the expressive spaces I need to have; constant writing daily. I’ve mentioned before being grammatically challenged and when life gets hectic it’s sometimes even more of a push.

He the mans despairs of me in the evenings, as I can’t stop and just sit with him. I'm constantly in a state of flux, forever needing mental stimulation or distraction, thinking up new subjects to discuss or food ideas to make for Nosh of Love , (well for he the mans to make!). The result of which, I don't get to sleep till near 1am and average 6hrs a night of sleep. This I’ve found is really not enough for me. The end result lately is a lovely mix of, as you can see from my last post: irritability, tearfulness and behaviour no better than a 5 yr old and a feeling that I can’t do it all for everyone, oh and a messy house!!!!

I'm not aiming for sympathy here , a lot is my own doing , as I know I stretch myself in too many different directions and am now endeavouring to put myself through a course of CBT to top it all off , but I wonder : How many of us are like this and use it to avoid sitting alone with our thoughts? Also, how do we fit it all in with children and get to bed early? (Yes I know the main answer is you don’t!!).

So I sense that many would say, cut some of it out. This may mean less blogging or just less social events for my girls and me on my own time in the evenings or weekends. The deeper issue being: why am I avoiding the alone time, what is it I need to get hold of in me and cut out? My main dichotomy is I like to be alone, quiet, free spirited and not tied to anyone or anything, but also on the flip side, I’m keen on moving my life in a new direction and I love being with others and going out!!

I'm aware that I need to meditate more, as this is key to making lots of areas flow better in life, but this constant adrenalin kick means I find it hard to switch off and flick to down time.

My main thought is to just turn the laptop off, (or not even turn it on, GASPPPPP) , not allow the TV to go on at all and just go straight up to my room , (the most peaceful space in this house) , after my girls bed time and just sit with my iPod and here’s a little tip for those who find it hard to go alone on this and need some help , listen to the collection of guided meditations I’ve downloaded through iTunes from PodcastAlley.

I then also factor in not being with he the mans till late and then I'm back to my dilemma of how to make time for meditation and everything else I seem to need to do.

See it just goes to show, one can’t always practise what they preach, (or in my case and here’s my reverse self righteousness), use the tools I know very well how to use!

Sometimes you just can’t do it all and sometimes spirits do things so you can’t do it all, whilst writing this my server decided to slow down to a snails pace and then came to a complete STOP. I had to quickly save this to word to continue it and prevent its loss.

It seemed they didn’t want me on the laptop last night either to finish this post, as my browser then wouldn’t even load. I think the message finally got through ; I need to relax more and find a more balanced approach!!!!

So yes spirit, my laptop went off for the rest of the evening and as you know I sat in the garden for dinner!!

I am now trying to get this is out in the blogger world this morning.

Namaste all


Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Use Sunscreen

Tears , tired, these words :

Monday, 21 July 2008

Monique asks :

Image care of Feuillu on Flickr - Light lines (cc)

Another great question was posed in my comments to me by Monique last week and I thought it was such a good one that it inspired another post and a way to introduce a little more about what I do.

When you say you are a healer, how does that comes into play w/ your gift? I
hear healer and try to combine it w/ your gift and think uber concentrated

Now brace yourselves for the tree hugging bit , its coming , so press pause on your belief systems for a minute!

A spiritual or Reiki healer, (these being different methods or modality's), is merely a channel for universal energy, divine essence, universal light, G%d light, life force or divine light . Call it what you will, it basically boils down to sending through unconditional love from the other realms beyond the physical to another by the laying on or laying over of hands. When I heal ,(in whatever modality) its not actually me doing the healing. I'm purely a vessel/channel source to send it through to the recipient. Do you need me to connect with this ? Probably not ,but not everyone allows themselves the time or the space to enjoy these moments. So going to a healer initialy may be a very good way to start.

There are many who don't see it as a gift and many see it as unproven and according to law I'm not actually even allowed to say that I'm channeling or healing anything. If I'm able to see-clairvoyance-, hear clairaudient- or feel - clairsentience -, a passed relatives of yours it is now deemed to be entertainment only. So wording what I do has become a very tricky thing indeed.

My "gift" comes into play when doing mediumship work, as I suppose I don't feel that my gift is healing ,yes it is a gift to be doing the work and be "of service" to others, but I feel more that mediumship is were I seem to have some kind of ability.

I can be doing healing and yes very much pick up on things physical , but according to healing codes of conduct I'm not allowed to prescribe or diagnose from this sensing as I'm not a doctor. I can guide someone to may be see a GP or even just be careful in one area or another and again that's hard as there are so many layers of organs, muscle and tissue. I cant pretend to know the anatomy either. Well that is unless your laying there with a 6pack! I will not be claiming to cure , neither to eradicate any illness or diseases. I can tell you you will be relaxed , may sleep better or just feel calmer, if because of this you feel better or your disease coincidentally improves , I will not be able to say that it was due to my work. So yes I can say what I do is beneficial and enhancing for your life.

I may very well pick up on things to do with your personal life , but again ,as Ive been asked to do healing , then healing is what I will offer. Once I cross over into merging the two , then clients would just come on the pretext of healing and end up receiving a reading to , (and I'd have to charge a two for one offer!!!!). Yes I will be using the same energy to heal and do a reading , (when I say reading , I mean psychic - personal and about YOU- or clairvoyant and about linked passed relatives or friends), but I will try my hardest to keep them very separate. I hope to always work with integrity , so with regards to personal information ,(like you may be kissing someone who's not your boyfriend, or your mums a secret agent, or you haven't bathed for 4days !!!), I would keep it in the strictest confidence.

With regards to any psychiatry (ooh shiver!!) , I wouldn't want to go into those realms and don't even dare to, I'm probably more of a mess than they are!!!!!!!

Basically I just want to give you a bit of lurrving and not the touching kind!!!! Well may be your heart!

Thursday, 17 July 2008


Shabda - Mike Oldfield

Going back a bit further

A few days back I thought it would be good to connect via blogs with other like minds, so during my search I found this informative spiritual blog. Late nights seem to be my blog catch up time, so tonight after my circle groups dinner get together (we like to do something even if the class is off every now and again for continuity) , I had a little look at it. Whilst writing up my becoming post this afternoon , I thought to myself I’m sure I’ll forget some of the things I used to do in my teens with all things spirit and lo and behold the latest post on Lucid is her experiences when younger with meditation and Ouija boards in the garden of her home. It sparked off a memory of a very interesting time.

I’ve recently got connected again with a very old friend from school and it was with her at around 15-16 or so that I encountered my 1st séances and guided meditations with our young friend J from the States. We would go and sit in his lovely rambling house not far from were I lived, with all the lights off and candles lit en masse. I think we did it mainly as parlour games, but I knew inside that I loved every minute.

The evening would start in his lounge, all silly and joky and as the night progressed things would get eerier and eerier. We would then move to the dining room were we all sat in the dark holding hands (screaming no doubt at all the noises) and then end on his bed (all of us) all laying like sleeping lions with him saying in slow tones “ you are now standing on an escalator and as you go down , you feel your whole body becoming heavier………….” . I’m not sure if at this point I sensed anything except the hairs on the back of my neck standing up , but I just couldn’t get enough of those evenings.

So at every opportunity when I got the chance I would steer things in that direction: Whether it be at college with the Ouija board sneakily during class times hiding in the toilets with our cigarettes, (were my late grandmothers name was clearly spelled out and I was only an onlooker), or in various homogenous dorm rooms, with booze and again screaming. I do remember though one evening where things got very creepy and nasty. The answers coming out on the board being of a very unpleasant nature that I thought to myself, I’m not sure if this was how I wanted to experience things in that way anymore. I remember walking away from the board and not wanting to go near it for a very long time. Possibly this may have set me on the quest for the proper way to do things, this is when all the right books started coming my way.

Ask and thee shall find

Tuesday, 15 July 2008


Image care of Amazon.co.uk

Monique at escape hatch asked me a very good question last night and that was :

How did I become aware of my abilities.

I think its in many people , we just don't switch the button so to speak , well psychic abilities that is. Not every psychic can be a medium Ive been told, but every medium is psychic. Intuition being the 1st rung on that ladder and then simple little things like knowing exactly who's on the phone , even when its someone unexpected or hasn't phoned for a long time. I used to freak my sister out with this one!

I had always read books on this side of life starting in my teens , the 1st very influential book was an old copy of a Shirley McClain's called Out on a Limb . I just couldn't put it down, totally hooked I was on its contents. After that I went to great lengths to find all of her books in the series and the out of print books too, (remember Amazon, or for that matter the Internet, wasn't around then in the late 80's), so it was all the old book shops on Charing cross road , were I went to college at the time. After that I just started syphoning books of this type like crazy. You could say Ms Mclain was my main initial inspiration.

I found James Redfield Celestine Prophecy to be the next eye opener for me and strangely enough at the time , whenever on the underground or at work, virtually the whole carriage or canteen was reading it too. I think this may have been around 1994. My father had always been very sensitive to these things also , so I may have been influenced in that way too , to see other things besides our every day human existence. I have so many books on this subject I could start my own library , which all sounds great , but really is a symbol of my over indulgence in this area, but that's me all over , when I get a new thing, its obsessive to start with. Lately though I haven't found the same need for it all and the thought of reading so intensely now feels totally off key and a case of too much input. I'm living, seeing and feeling it more now rather than needing to know what its all about if you get my drift.

It sounds cliche , but as a child I started getting visions and dreams and odd things happening to me. I feel also I may have been guided somewhat by the other side so to speak , as in early 2000 I had a reading done in Sedona Arizona by a famous medium called Ray of Sedona , who suggested I would become a teacher/healer of sorts, but not in the normal sense. He said many things that came about and he said it would be in the next 5-6 years and yes those 5-6 years are right at this point in time. That trip was extremely synchronistic , as I had just started my own furniture design firm and my 1st big contract was sent to me the day before we left to go to Arizona. It was to design a dining and lounge range based on the early American Prairie and Arts and Crafts movement and weirdly the area we were staying in was the homestead of the Architect and designer Frank Lloyd wright and his Famed house Taliesin West. Without any prior information from me Ray of Sedona in my reading had mentioned clients, portfolios and art, working with wood and design!!!

One of the biggest catalysts was the challenging experience I had giving birth in 2003 and the aftermath. 3 months after cupcake was born I was diagnosed with post natal depression/PND , but it wasn't until I was pregnant with pickle more than 2yrs later that they realised I didn't have typical classic post natal depressive behaviour and later re diagnosed me with post traumatic stress disorder/PTSD, (due to incidences in the labour then birth, leading to hemorrhaging and then transfusion 24hrs later as my haemoglobin was dangerously low and I was critical). This is were I started getting the right help, although emotionally painful it was very transformative.

I don't really talk about it that much any more but it led me to find another way to think about how to live in this world and find some sense of coming together in my mind, body and spirit. At the 1st diagnoses of PND I put myself through about 8 months of hypnotherapy. In many ways I feel it opened up a portal , so to speak , to another world beyond this. The PND unfortunately brought on severe panic attacks and increased Agoraphobia and I just would not accept it becoming a permanent affliction . I feel in me the PTSD took low level every day anxieties and amplified them a thousand fold, although luckily I don't get the attacks any more , thanks to the hypnotherapy but you don't ever forget what they were like. An experience like that is so profound that there is no way you can be the same ever again , there was much talk about litigation at the neglectful treatment I was given in hospital , but to me it was more important to heal and gain strength , rather than put myself and the family through more distress. In a weird way looking back now I'm almost thankful for it. In strange way it has taught me a great deal about compassion , acceptance , judgment and inner power.

Luckily I sailed through my next birth in 2006, (sort of!), but this was aided by the use of Hypnobirthing , a form of self hypnosis and sequential breathing styles for each stage , as some of the trauma from the 1st birth had left its mark obviously and I had to find a way to deal with the impending ,(& terrifying to me), birth that I had no way of getting out of!! Despite having to clean up some of the debris of fears and anxieties about birthing , hospitals and anything medical , doing the hypnobirthing was a further level up the ladder in terms of being able to meditate and find quiet inner time , which was were the sense other things besides the here and the now became stronger . Three weeks before birth you listen to a specially designed hypnosis cd for preparation and its very much akin to guided meditation, so you could say I took a crash course! Through this work and the pre natal learning sessions I was able to see everything in such a different way , as a part of me had been unlocked and that part was were I found glimpses of my inner power and confidence within. For me the whole pre and post natal time was a very liberating and uplifting experience and it made me want to work with healing and helping others even more.

I have been asked to write about this part of my journey into motherhood before in order to help others , but have never been able to communicate it on paper. Ive only roughly skimmed the surface here of what happened , but this is the 1st time Ive been able to get it written in any way shape or form and be able to remain detached from it . I dont want to dredge too much of it up , but also I think my hesitation here is partly I feel there is more work to do on this area and also theres some fear to deal with regarding others responses to it.

In early 2007 I noticed the rate of coincidences coupled with strange electrical things happening at home increasing phenomenally and of course that piqued my interest even more. He the mans and I would be conversing on a random subject and keep seeing tv programmes or adverts totaly related show up right there and then. Every electrical gadget was either breaking or would just stop and start or even turn on unaided randomly. At one point every watch I wore just stopped and still every phone I get the battery dies within a few short months. Someone was trying to get a message to me any which way they could, as its when I joined my circle and my late Papa was coming through every week to different mediums. Its suggested that spirit do these things to get you to notice them and help steer you onto the right path. This is when I started getting all those hearts I have shown here on occasions . Well it certainly got my notice ,as he the mans even commented on all the weirdness and it made me think that may be I ought to start using my abilities more and shape my life in such a way that I can help and heal others.

Anyway essay over for now ! I didnt plan to answer a question via a post of epic proportions , but it must have needed to come out! Writing it here and now couldn't be more timely , as only a few days ago I ended my Reiki 2 21 day cleanse and this has given me a chance to take a look back at my experiences so far and see how far Ive come and how much Ive learnt and grown.

Remember a while back I needed some courage to explain myself , well this was what I needed it for . I thank you Monique for paving a little way on my journey so far.

Im an ENFP???????

Ive been trying to catch up on blogs I read regularly , but fail miserably to get round and as I'm home this morning with a little poorly pickle, I had a spare 10 mins whilst she languishes my little thing in the front room.

I came upon this at 23BeecHill's lovely craft blog and you know me , I cant resist a little test. Blogthings tests are quite fun too.

I just wish I knew what an ENFP was though , any ideas what these abbreviations mean?

Id say its pretty spot on , which is a bit scary actually.

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.

You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules.

Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.

You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.

You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts.

At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

goooo onnn , you know you want to!!!

Thursday, 10 July 2008

little seance synergies

I spent the other night whilst writing my last post looking for a perfect image to capture what sitting circle meant. Whilst looking on Google images for "development circle" I found many images like this :


and finally I settled on this

(although my very fussy and particular mind still wasn't quite pleased!). I have another image which conveys it all perfectly and can be found on here at the very top , but I didn't dare use the image , for copyright reasons.The site has an energy I'm not really sure I like either , but that's a whole other post hey!

The seance images didn't really capture what we do every week, and to be honest , we don't really sit at a table holding hands for 2hrs in the dark, but the images nonetheless piqued my interest . I'm now further intrigued to find out more about famous and notorious (yes some were found to be fraudsters)mediums from way way back. A famous one being Florrie cook.
To me the phrase and images of a seance felt quite old fashioned if not quite a typical and stereotyped idea of what goes on in these types of circles. Our circle is different every week and entails all aspects of spiritual endeavours ; healing , Reiki , psychic , medium ship, pyramid trance , meditation, rostrum practise ,oracle & tarot cards, divination , Ouija board , automatic writing , inspirational talking and so much more.

And yes we do tend to sit in a circle , but mainly as its quite a nice way to work. The only time we hold hands is to say a little prayer to other side to start us off in the right way. A sign of respect I suppose to what we are doing and an intention to do it with love and care, (not necessarily always with all the fluff though)!!!!!!

but last night at circle only a handful of people turned up and I think "inspirationally" our teacher decided we could have some fun with a traditional seance. It struck me so full of synchronicity , especially after my link to the T-Mobile advert and that Id been doing a little research on what went on in old seances of the early 1900 this week. If they are at the forefront of popular culture right now, then last nights activity was a case of the teacher tapping into the universal mind me feels, it struck him as quite a coincidence anyhow. They really are not that much different now I suppose in how we conducted the event. I thought that may be it wasn't the thing to do anymore as Ive not heard of groups doing them, but hey anything goes huh in this different-to-the- norm- life Ive been working in lately.
So all the lights were turned down , a candle lit on a small table in the centre and hands were held. It was quite a good evening and the energy felt really strong and consistent. We each took it in turns to see if we could come through with someone clairvoyantly.

We had opened the evening doing an energy exercise involving deep breathing and drawing in light from above and below to start with , which taught us a really strong way to open up to the other-side and I think that helped enormously with our connections that evening, I for one felt like Id taken something heavy and not necessarily prescribed, which cant be to bad for just breathing and seeing light !!!! What came through I got validation for from one of those sitting , which was great for both of us . We even started seeing what others were when they were reading another person , even down to what a sitters grandparent had in their kitchen , which is always a great validation for all in the group and makes it quite exciting , who needs drugs hey?!

It just goes to show one has to approach all of this with a sense of fun , openness and experimentation in mind, (funny teacher said that last night , as Jeff Phillips also said the same on Sunday, odd little themes are showing up to me lately). It makes for a much better experience and I feel for one that it has enhanced my life tenfold. Others might think it crazy stuff, unfathomable , (even I do sometimes) , but it doesn't matter , I enjoy it , it gives my life great meaning and purpose that we continue after. I cant explain it totally ,I just feel Im meant to be doing all of this.

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Today I will mostly be reading.............

people that is.

Ive not long returned from a days class with this chap , the psychic postman.

Its been a long long but enjoyable and challenging day using several abilities, mainly clairvoyant & clairaudient , but we also did some physchometry tests too with 3 of Jeff's own items. I was totally off on all but a photograph of his family. I have to learn (getting better at it after a year or more of sitting circle , to just brush of the -insert game show incorrect answer buzzer sound- moments) and as a medium in the learning seat there are many!! My main teacher says there are no rubbish mediums , just rubbish sitters, mainly suffering from Psychic amnesia!!!!! I'm still not sure I believe him , as some days , you just feel like one of those "rubbish mediums"!

Through the day I got some things right and several bits way way off , but overall it was a great validation day for me. I often give the best readings when Ive had to struggle to connect with the information, so I have to start believing that in those moments as I may well have some gems for sitters.
Jeff is a very bubbly and excitable guy and I didn't think there was anyone else who could talk more than me!

Doing a class like this in my work, which means you are using your abilities in a continuous stream for several hours, is a really good way to improve and take things to another level. I'm looking forward to finding some other courses over the rest of the year. It keeps you fresh and on your toes to work with different mediums and its also a privilege to have a day with others who are clearly amazing at their craft.
I am knocked out body, mind and spirit tonight, as being "on" all day is quite draining and I really need to zone out and sleep , but knowing me I'll be on here or watching TV instead.

Anyone know where my off button is??

Saturday, 5 July 2008

cringe or laugh

I just saw this today :

I did laugh. Oh the relevance of it all! I have actually seen this being done at classes, were the mediums voice and stance is totally different and not their own.

It does tickle me but why do they have to all be portrayed as strange looking people? Does T-Mobile think that it will be appealing to the masses? Or is it all done for the comedic value and cult following? I think of the unusual characters in the phones 4 u adverts here.

and no I don't look like mystic meg!!!

Thursday, 3 July 2008

My down shift should be going up soon!

I'm a bit blah right now and I have so much good stuff to write about still in relation to my Reiki 2. I'm just storing it away for a little more time until I can put the right kind of energy into it.

Ive been listening to the likes of this :

I was going to put it onto one of those immediate broadcast widget things,but I cant find a free one and to be honest you would hear it non stop always on here! Even though its fab , I wont make you suffer as well (or for that matter me)!

It resonates so deeply that I played it 3-4 times yesterday and this morning , don't you just love a bit of Alanis for some inner work and a good deep bawl! Its whats at its heart that needs to come out and be dealt with. It says all that I need to be working on right now, but the fact that it is an unseen affliction means that your invisible struggles can be deemed unimportant, especially if you seem to appear OK on the outside. I mentioned in my 2 words meme that I feared loosing children the most , but the main thing that drives my down side is the constant barrage in my head. It doesn't matter whether someone is wonderful with me or revolting I wont believe or like either, no one can win! The 1st one I will discard as (and do the giver a great disservice, looking gift horse in mouth springs to mind!), untrue and false nicety and the latter I will have little films in my head with the person involved were I make them see they are wrong about me and explain myself silly!

I was talking this morning about the down times in our lives and my friend felt that they actually are an important aspect of our lives. I want to know the whys and the wherefores though! My father was the same , and he was told he wanted to know too much. I mentioned Biorhythms and how they can affect all aspects of our lives as they ebb and flow up and down.

Ive now tried 3 online charts for the calculation of them and they are all the same right now , emotions , physical and intellect are all at the low point and there's no getting away from it! This is one of them for today from Bio Chart :

Sometimes we just have to accept that we're are in a down turn and wait to ride the storm out without to much control. Easier said than done and how does one operate with all around you when all you want to do is hide and cry and "wallow" as my friend M said? Especially when your a social creature? As you've noticed I'm not great with being gentle and caring with myself! Its something I need to get better at ; making allowances for not operating at 100% all the time.

Its actually quite hard for me to almost own up to these periods in my life. In spiritual circles , one has to find a way to be uplifted and master of all , and yes doing the work I do just focuses the mind on the good stuff, but sometimes being human and feeling, it cant always be so. You feel that if you are to help others then how can you need help or support yourself?

I feel that may be in the long term it will help immensely with the compassionate side of my journey and keep a check on the frivolous and laisseez faire tendencies we can all have for others.

Its just a bit yuck whilst it happens.

So in the meantime I need lots of these , my girls will be all cuddled out :

Weirdly found on a blog called ALAS ! Alas- Alanis - get it?!!!!