Friday, 29 August 2008

10 tracks part3 Tornados

My 10 new tracks this week as done by Monique at Escape Hatch

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend play list...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)"

Here's what we heard on the way to the restaurant for my birthday on Saturday, more details of which will follow in Nosh of Love , when I get round to writing it that is!

Id like to say it was a wonderful night ,but my sensitive little cupcake was in state about something her cousin had said during the day and wasn't letting us go easily, but wouldn't at all explain what was wrong, she was just hysterical .She was so terrified and worried that we didn't get it out of her till Sunday night, (the relief in her little face bless) , so our evening was spent concerned that she was upset and unusually playing up. I felt like the worse mum in the world!
Basically my 6 yr old nephew talked about large tubes coming down and sucking people up, never to be seen again . We gathered from him on Monday that he was actually describing Tornado's!!! What a great and descriptive imagination he has. We've now been spending every evening since then explaining that Tornado's don't happen very often and never in London!
Back to the music! Much of this is from he the mans Ipod as we seemed to spend a lot of time in his car last weekend. He has his on shuffle and I think its a really good way of listening , you don't have to think and also you get tracks played you'd even forgotten you have!!

The only track that I couldn't find was The main theme from the film Grand Canyon by composer James Newton Howard, so Ive subbed it for London (track 7) from the film Blood diamond instead , as London seemed to be a big theme for the weekend , spending most our time in the in the centre of it!

  1. Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd,

  2. All Through The Night by Cyndi Lauper,

  3. The Eternal Vow from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon by Yo yo ma & Tan Dun

  4. The Bourne Identity Theme --->Dj Ally Mac <--- (ReMiX) by Skyfxl Records Presents - Dj Ally Mac,

  5. False Alarm by KT Tunstall,

  6. Just Like Heaven by Katie Melua,

  7. London by James Newton Howard,

  8. Kylie Minogue - White Diamond [Bonus Track] by Kylie Minogue,

  9. If You Think You're Lonely Now by Bobby Womack,

  10. Speed of Sound by Coldplay

Look for the player at the bottom of the blog to hear it

Thursday, 21 August 2008

Its my birthday and ill cry if I want to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't really have a birthday day today as such , although I had a quick meet up lunch with my mum on her work lunch break with my two girls and a visit to the park with li'l cupcakes schoolfriend. We have planned at the weekend , a lovely meal in a special restaurant on Saturday . You will hear more of which on Nosh of Love next week Im sure and a shopping trip into central London on Sunday to sort my Birthday pressie out from he the mans.

Ive felt a bit flat as I'm now much nearer to 40 than 30 today!

I know its only a number , and I know spiritually I shouldnt worry about age and time lines , but it just feels very weird. Its like were did all that time go, Im shocked I think !!!

Ive felt very much stuck the last few weeks and Ive been fixating on the wrong things : , Internet use, staying up late, not eating well , worrying about social life, other people and their reactions and things outside of me. I was told last night two things : 1) that all this distraction needs to stop 2) the opportunities I search for may not be the ones that come to be the right ones.

To clear all the debris away I need to have a good ole cry - healing tears of course - and get it out and get moving forward, I have work to do you see now. I really really have to start in earnest with my Reiki path . So I know I need to focus on the positives and last nights circle was a wonderful recap of the energy I can work with and the power I have in myself.

It was a lovely healing evening and one that was very very much needed. It really helped me get back in touch with my healing abilities and was nice to slow down and relax a bit. We spent the first half of the evening doing energy exercises : feeling our own energy by holding our hands out in front as if holding a football and feeling were you sense resistance. Shutting down and then re opening to universal energy and feeling the difference is mind blowing , even our resident sceptic to healing was blown away! As someone nicely put it last night, "Its the difference between holding a tennis ball and then holding a beach ball" !! We also did the same in pairs before and after breathing in Universal light and had to give the sitter one message about themselves . Its a wonderful way of really feeling the difference from every day being to the expanded energy we work with in medium ship and healing. We then grouped into Reiki levels and non Reiki levels and partnered up to practise and connect for a psychic or clairvoyant message for the recipient.

I felt it was actually easier to connect once we'd done the energy work and I need to remember the practise of it when working. It was also great to receive feedback on my healing as I generally only practise on my girls. I have done my father for 10minutes post Reiki II and he found it immensely soothing and my mother in law before my Reiki II, (which really is- at level I- as our teacher says an "inspired Spiritual healing") , but to get outside validation is great for this work. The sitter said she never normally relaxes , but that with my short session she very much felt deeply calmed. To know that I'm channelling something and this is having a strong effect is a great feeling. To know its helping someone feel good is the best feeling I could ever get. The healing I received from her in return was wonderful and the end to the evening at my lovely friends home - were she fed me after (spiritually and physically), gosh you get soooo hungry after circle- I think has helped me re evaluate some of the odd stuck place I got my head at recently.

Ive noticed the time and seen that its just after 11:30 pm. Normally I would keep going until way past midnight , but so I can get some much needed down time, I will keep this post briefer than normal and head off to get into sleep mode. If I set a small intention now , it may help discipline me through the days.

I thank the universe and the friends for the gift of their time and the experience of the evening.

Night all x

Sunday, 17 August 2008

10 new tracks, 2nd birthday and a wordy break

Image care of Microsoft clip art

As you may have realised Ive not been here much and I hope my readers will not disappear on me. My cupcake is on school holidays and shes been at summer camp a few days a week , but its now finished , but her school holidays continue for another 4 WEEKS!!!

I don't think its just the kiddies that get tired after a long school term , but us mums too. Especially when you mix in all the things I do , I feel like I have 4 different lives!! Ive been non stop busy day and night and not sleeping well either. Too much adrenalin kicking in (and old worry tapes) , to keep my body going, for late night internet usage is wrecking my eventual night-time shut down and I don't have time to do my Self healing Reiki session ! I think Ive become partially insomniac and its not good! So Ive had to take a bloggy break for a little bit here and there. I hope to continue to post but I may cut it back a bit to may be 1 post a week Im not sure yet , I just need to try managing my time everywhere a bit less hectically!!

I have continued to attend my circle and found I'm struggling there , despite being told my work is good , my teacher can see that my energy isn't up and I'm fluctuating a bit to much to have good clarity and flow . I definitely need to slow down a bit somehow! Someone picked up on me wanting to make a change to things and start a new endeavour - Reiki practise and Voluntary work- but I cant quite push through a block I have in starting it all and I need to do some work on that. I know what it is , but haven't sorted myself out as yet and need to do some thing about self discipline in all sorts of ways!

Anyway on to my 10 new tracks as done by Monique at Escape Hatch

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend play list...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)"

I didnt find this an easy task this weekend (also play dont always list the music I listen to here at chill radio). Ive not been in the car as much and when I have the Ipods been off as my in car chargers not working and I keep forgetting to charge it! I did drive he the mans car yesterday though and hes got his Ipod on random and some of whats on my play list is what came up.

It was my little cupcakes 2nd B'day yesterday and we had family over. I cant believe shes 2 , its like, were did that go? I cleared out her draw of grow bags and blankets this morning and got all choked at thinking her never being a baby again. I cant quite throw them out yet. Track 9 is dedicated to her as she has it on a cd I play her for bedtime, although its a different version to the one we have.

Image care of Microsoft clip art

He the mans and I also attended a friends Birthday party last night and both drank rather a lot. So we had to have a lovely norty fry up, us and the girls this morning scoffing outside on our deck together , alongside chill radio playing . I haven't done that for a very long time, eating together on the deck and it was a lovely brief fleeting moment of family time. As for the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad fry up, everything in moderation I say!!!!

  1. Chasing Pavements by Adele
  2. Band Of Brothers Suite Two by Michael Kamen
  3. Moondance by Van Morrison
  4. Caravansary by Kitaro
  5. Dream Catch me by Newton Faulkner
  6. Know How by The Kings of Convenience
  7. Cafe Del Mar `98 by Energy 52
  8. Journey by The gentle People
  9. An Irish Lullaby (Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra) by The Brobdingnagian Bards
  10. Belle by Jack Johnson

Sunday, 3 August 2008

Behind the rip curl

Image care of MagicSeaweed (check out the photographs - awesome!)

I have a theory, (it might be crackpot but here goes), when propelling yourself forward in a new direction , healing the old and becoming a new , a momentum has to build to carry you forward. I spoke to my father about changes and introspection today and he mentioned the catastrophe theory(used more in sports performance), but I couldn't find anything on that that I could quite understand . It also didn't quite correlate as the metaphor for my journey of late.

To me whats happening is more of a "behind the rip curl " stage : As the sea rises into a large wave from the edge of the shore it creates a curve that builds power and momentum. Taking in the flow and the power of the sea behind and before the point of forward propulsion , it is in reverse and rises higher looking back on itself before the final leap over its original direction , to join the shore again. A surfer stands within the curl using its energy to ride through. I think that's were Id like to be , that is what I aspire to , symbolically speaking , letting it all happen around me , able to stand within and be less affected. At the moment I'm sitting behind that curve waiting to leap up on the top and catapult into my new way of being, traversing a new path.

As with all healing, learning & changing you will go through a period of discomfort ,a temporary detachment, may be extra pain, feeling low, unsure and may be some extra heartache. It may feel like all the old tapes are playing and all old behaviours have come back to sit on your shoulder , you may feel awkward and have a great unease. Sounds great doesnt it!!

There's a reason for this , unpleasant as it may be . It is so that you can see what it is that needs to be dealt with , what needs a re think , what new ways need to be learnt and what is needed no more - ahhhhh to get rid of things , not only do I horde in my house , I horde old ways in my head!! Great and positive changes can occur after this stage, but unfortunately it cannot be avoided, whats needed is some support along the way - writing about it is one way , talking to others on the same path is another , oh and also some silly distraction, like working on surfing metaphors, to help along the way!

Where do think you are on the rip curl ? I think I might just be the ickle bitty fish above !!?