Guided by spirit?

I really feel sometimes I have to get my life on track and give it direction and purpose. That's on some days , on others I like it just flowing were it needs to go and roll the waves. Not having to be anywhere except school and nursery runs and just being mum sometimes suits my stress level limits and yes I also get enjoyment just from that, just being mum ! I say just being mum , thats a whole layered life that not all people think happen, a great book I found that validated my very little life was this : What mothers do , Especially When It Looks Like Nothing!

Every now again significant markers show up on my path and say to me , hang on, there's something you need to do, something inside that's moving me somewhere else.

A few months back I contacted a Hospice local to school. Id been in touch with the manager several times about being a Reiki Volunteer and she seemed very keen , saying that they didnt have someone currently and that not many people come forward. She made me aware that she was leaving and new person was to take over. My details were to be passed on. Weeks passed and I contacted them again. This time new manager answered , he know nothing of me , not a good sign. Suddenly he has a therapy room manager and no room for anyone else to do Reiki. I don't know if this is ego (mine and hers) or just a feeling or a signal that this wasn't the right direction , but the therapy manager irked me somewhat. Her main state of play was that SHE did the reiki and didn't need anyone else, but I could just come in and help out with various other activities . This , as altruistic as it may be , just didn't connect, Ive trained for Reiki , I want to give Reiki , I have a route to pass on healing, I just have to do it. I felt a huge block and a feeling of discomfort around my interaction with this person. An application came in from her in my inbox, I started to fill it out and then just had to stop. I couldn't do it. So it was shelved so to speak.

Were was I to go, my time is limited , I have only mornings to do anything and cant go to far from nursery , otherwise I eat into my useful time travelling. Everything went on pause.

I continued to go to circle and do my development.

I was aware of a hospice down the road from my house , but for some reason I had vaguely dismissed it, (10 minutes drive back from nursery) but it was always in the back of my mind.

Suddenly a new person turned up at circle and lo and behold she works as a volunteer at the very Hospice down the road from me and also they had just lost a volunteer therapist.

See Im new on this path of inner belief , so its taken me some weeks to gather myself up into a more confident ball and throw it at the newness of this all. I took myself down there a couple of weeks back and introduced myself after this lovely new person at circle had put a word in for me.

My ideal was to do this work on Monday as a good start to the week, and also I could only work up till 11:30. So what sessions did they have available for patients? Yes , the very day and time I had been thinking was ideal! There and then she handed me the paperwork and hoped to see me again.

Im still in the space of : can I do this and will I be able to make a difference???? Its a whole new world for me. I will be dealing with patients who are terminal , my intensely emotional self , doesn't yet know how this will feel. Or what will be brought up. Its quite a big turn for me , having been treated for serious Post traumatic stress disorder related to medical experiences only 2-3 years ago. Why in my life do I always turn to look at the face of my demons? My original career went against the shy quiet type I may have been labelled as, and this , wellllll who would have known that the once me that would have a panic attack sitting in a hospital is now planning to sit at the head of a patient and look after them?

So Im now up to the stage of getting this horse out of the stable and giving something of myself back to others. I have yet to fill in forms , (thats a whole other new challenge, merging the old business me and the new me in an up to date CV) and get all sorts of insurance and police checks , but I hope by the end of the year things will have moved forward somewhat. I have yet to find my old CV on some external hardrive, its very London office (or Recruitmet agency)styleeee and not been updated for some time. I have to get this all done tout suite and feel Im harnessing the opportunity as soon as I can. Its a must, but my old ego head is slowing it down.

Is it a plan or an intention and if I dont seize it now, what will I miss? Will an intention work better than a goal or a dream. I hope so, it feels as if its all waiting for me , these things happening , as if jigswa peices have been slotted in , are not just happen chance. Will I be given a hand to organise it all and make it fit into place all the more easily, are they listening up there?!!!!!!

Think I have to get my cosmic order book out again ?!

Image care of Nicholas Arwin of Enhanced perceptions, amazing "visonary Art" site.

Its been a while

I just wanted to post a little something to say I'm still breathing , still healing and still here, just!!!! I don't know were the time goes, I didn't realise I hadn't posted for 2 weeks. Before I knew it another week had flown by and then another one.

The end of August was marked by an early celebration of our wedding anniversary,(read all about it on Nosh of Love when my post is done). Wow 9 years has also flown by! Every weekend has been busy so far non stop and every day is filled to the brim with activities with my girls, mainly cupcakes friends. By the evening I'm goggle eyed and ready for - not much!

Us 3 girls are all ready in this house as of this coming Monday, for life to change yet again into a new routine ,bring it on! Little cupcake starts reception and pickle will have her 1st full week of nursery down the road. I will have a child free two and a half hours a morning, 3 days a week to heal the world, (well my local area world that is) !!!!!!

I'm thinking I'm kidding myself that I wont be choked up next week at sitting in my house- alone -suddenly realising my little babies are no longer babies! Ive felt a little rising here and there and I push it away!

The culmination of all that pushing away emotions and staying busy brought on a migraine attack of revolting proportions, the likes I haven't had for many many years. It stopped me in my tracks early this week and put a stop to any TV, PC or mobile phone viewing of any kind. I think my body was trying to tell me AGAIN that I just have to stop and slow it down sometimes and shut the world out a lot more than I do. After several hours of sickness my body just shut down on me I had no choice but to go to bed at 7pm and apart from my normal, I-want-my-dummy 2am call, awoke Wednesday 7am , a 1st in YEARS.

Today marks the last day of the summer holidays, tis been a long one,( for some reason I don't count the weekend!). Labels have to be collected to be ironed on around 30 garments and items and a psyching up for the next school stage to be done, both me and cupcake!

Ive had to bring out my Reiki hands on several occasions recently for our little cupcake. She seems to be going through a stage of nightmares and night terrors. Some of the visions shes been having are a bit unusual for a nearly 5yr old I have to say ; WARNING MINOR GRIM VISIONS FOLLOWING : blood soaked faces ,baby's being taken from cut stomachs and people being sucked by tubes (the tornado repeat performance from last week) . In some spiritual circles these may be explained as a sign of past life occurrences. I'm trying to work out whether shes seen this imagery on TV , although I don't give her access to news , medical documentaries, horror films or drama programmes.

The thing is you never know what they see in the millions of things that pass our eyes every day. I'm really not sure at all whats going on, for me , its possibly just an overwhelmed creative and sensitive imagination like her mums (she so needs some school to channel this)!!

I'm very careful to not implant any further ideas or deep explanations for her at this young age , especially nothing esoteric or deeply spiritual . I just always try and show her ways to use mind over matter with visualisations and positive imagery. So out come our "flava fairies" , who sit with her at a magical table and create ice cream for her in any flavour , or her imaginary friend "Isis" , who is her magical strong purple & green monster, who protects her and guards her.

Its taken all week of doing this for her to settle more calmly this evening. Well in relative terms that is, as I still had to go in 3 times to kiss a sore finger , find her water or do 5 minutes Reiki! Instead of an hour later of things, we had a mere half an hour!

Such is a mothers life!

10 tracks part3 Tornados

My 10 new tracks this week as done by Monique at Escape Hatch

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend play list...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)"

Here's what we heard on the way to the restaurant for my birthday on Saturday, more details of which will follow in Nosh of Love , when I get round to writing it that is!

Id like to say it was a wonderful night ,but my sensitive little cupcake was in state about something her cousin had said during the day and wasn't letting us go easily, but wouldn't at all explain what was wrong, she was just hysterical .She was so terrified and worried that we didn't get it out of her till Sunday night, (the relief in her little face bless) , so our evening was spent concerned that she was upset and unusually playing up. I felt like the worse mum in the world!

Basically my 6 yr old nephew talked about large tubes coming down and sucking people up, never to be seen again . We gathered from him on Monday that he was actually describing Tornado's!!! What a great and descriptive imagination he has. We've now been spending every evening since then explaining that Tornado's don't happen very often and never in London!

Back to the music! Much of this is from he the mans Ipod as we seemed to spend a lot of time in his car last weekend. He has his on shuffle and I think its a really good way of listening , you don't have to think and also you get tracks played you'd even forgotten you have!!

The only track that I couldn't find was The main theme from the film Grand Canyon by composer James Newton Howard, so Ive subbed it for London (track 7) from the film Blood diamond instead , as London seemed to be a big theme for the weekend , spending most our time in the in the centre of it!

1. Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd,


2. All Through The Night by Cyndi Lauper,


3. The Eternal Vow from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon by Yo yo ma & Tan Dun


4. The Bourne Identity Theme --->Dj Ally Mac <--- (ReMiX) by Skyfxl Records Presents - Dj Ally Mac,


5. False Alarm by KT Tunstall,


6. Just Like Heaven by Katie Melua,


7. London by James Newton Howard,


8. Kylie Minogue - White Diamond [Bonus Track] by Kylie Minogue,


9. If You Think You're Lonely Now by Bobby Womack,


10. Speed of Sound by Coldplay

Look for the player at the bottom of the blog to hear it

Its my birthday and ill cry if I want to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't really have a birthday day today as such , although I had a quick meet up lunch with my mum on her work lunch break with my two girls and a visit to the park with li'l cupcakes schoolfriend. We have planned at the weekend , a lovely meal in a special restaurant on Saturday . You will hear more of which on Nosh of Love next week Im sure and a shopping trip into central London on Sunday to sort my Birthday pressie out from he the mans.

Ive felt a bit flat as I'm now much nearer to 40 than 30 today!

I know its only a number , and I know spiritually I shouldnt worry about age and time lines , but it just feels very weird. Its like were did all that time go, Im shocked I think !!!

Ive felt very much stuck the last few weeks and Ive been fixating on the wrong things : , Internet use, staying up late, not eating well , worrying about social life, other people and their reactions and things outside of me. I was told last night two things : 1) that all this distraction needs to stop 2) the opportunities I search for may not be the ones that come to be the right ones.

To clear all the debris away I need to have a good ole cry - healing tears of course - and get it out and get moving forward, I have work to do you see now. I really really have to start in earnest with my Reiki path . So I know I need to focus on the positives and last nights circle was a wonderful recap of the energy I can work with and the power I have in myself.

Image care of Erika on My Space , found on Dr.Romel Axibal at My Space

It was a lovely healing evening and one that was very very much needed. It really helped me get back in touch with my healing abilities and was nice to slow down and relax a bit. We spent the first half of the evening doing energy exercises : feeling our own energy by holding our hands out in front as if holding a football and feeling were you sense resistance. Shutting down and then re opening to universal energy and feeling the difference is mind blowing , even our resident sceptic to healing was blown away! As someone nicely put it last night, "Its the difference between holding a tennis ball and then holding a beach ball" !! We also did the same in pairs before and after breathing in Universal light and had to give the sitter one message about themselves . Its a wonderful way of really feeling the difference from every day being to the expanded energy we work with in medium ship and healing. We then grouped into Reiki levels and non Reiki levels and partnered up to practise and connect for a psychic or clairvoyant message for the recipient.

I felt it was actually easier to connect once we'd done the energy work and I need to remember the practise of it when working. It was also great to receive feedback on my healing as I generally only practise on my girls. I have done my father for 10minutes post Reiki II and he found it immensely soothing and my mother in law before my Reiki II, (which really is- at level I- as our teacher says an "inspired Spiritual healing") , but to get outside validation is great for this work. The sitter said she never normally relaxes , but that with my short session she very much felt deeply calmed. To know that I'm channelling something and this is having a strong effect is a great feeling. To know its helping someone feel good is the best feeling I could ever get. The healing I received from her in return was wonderful and the end to the evening at my lovely friends home - were she fed me after (spiritually and physically), gosh you get soooo hungry after circle- I think has helped me re evaluate some of the odd stuck place I got my head at recently.

Ive noticed the time and seen that its just after 11:30 pm. Normally I would keep going until way past midnight , but so I can get some much needed down time, I will keep this post briefer than normal and head off to get into sleep mode. If I set a small intention now , it may help discipline me through the days.

I thank the universe and the friends for the gift of their time and the experience of the evening.

Night all x

10 new tracks, 2nd birthday and a wordy break

Image care of Microsoft clip art

As you may have realised Ive not been here much and I hope my readers will not disappear on me. My cupcake is on school holidays and shes been at summer camp a few days a week , but its now finished , but her school holidays continue for another 4 WEEKS!!!

I don't think its just the kiddies that get tired after a long school term , but us mums too. Especially when you mix in all the things I do , I feel like I have 4 different lives!! Ive been non stop busy day and night and not sleeping well either. Too much adrenalin kicking in (and old worry tapes) , to keep my body going, for late night internet usage is wrecking my eventual night-time shut down and I don't have time to do my Self healing Reiki session ! I think Ive become partially insomniac and its not good! So Ive had to take a bloggy break for a little bit here and there. I hope to continue to post but I may cut it back a bit to may be 1 post a week Im not sure yet , I just need to try managing my time everywhere a bit less hectically!!

I have continued to attend my circle and found I'm struggling there , despite being told my work is good , my teacher can see that my energy isn't up and I'm fluctuating a bit to much to have good clarity and flow . I definitely need to slow down a bit somehow! Someone picked up on me wanting to make a change to things and start a new endeavour - Reiki practise and Voluntary work- but I cant quite push through a block I have in starting it all and I need to do some work on that. I know what it is , but haven't sorted myself out as yet and need to do some thing about self discipline in all sorts of ways!

Anyway on to my 10 new tracks as done by Monique at Escape Hatch

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend play list...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)"

I didnt find this an easy task this weekend (also play list.com dont always list the music I listen to here at chill radio). Ive not been in the car as much and when I have the Ipods been off as my in car chargers not working and I keep forgetting to charge it! I did drive he the mans car yesterday though and hes got his Ipod on random and some of whats on my play list is what came up.

It was my little cupcakes 2nd B'day yesterday and we had family over. I cant believe shes 2 , its like, were did that go? I cleared out her draw of grow bags and blankets this morning and got all choked at thinking her never being a baby again. I cant quite throw them out yet. Track 9 is dedicated to her as she has it on a cd I play her for bedtime, although its a different version to the one we have.

Image care of Microsoft clip art

He the mans and I also attended a friends Birthday party last night and both drank rather a lot. So we had to have a lovely norty fry up, us and the girls this morning scoffing outside on our deck together , alongside chill radio playing . I haven't done that for a very long time, eating together on the deck and it was a lovely brief fleeting moment of family time. As for the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad fry up, everything in moderation I say!!!!

1. Chasing Pavements by Adele
2. Band Of Brothers Suite Two by Michael Kamen
3. Moondance by Van Morrison
4. Caravansary by Kitaro
5. Dream Catch me by Newton Faulkner
6. Know How by The Kings of Convenience
7. Cafe Del Mar `98 by Energy 52
8. Journey by The gentle People
9. An Irish Lullaby (Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra) by The Brobdingnagian Bards
10. Belle by Jack Johnson

Behind the rip curl

Image care of MagicSeaweed (check out the photographs - awesome!)

I have a theory, (it might be crackpot but here goes), when propelling yourself forward in a new direction , healing the old and becoming a new , a momentum has to build to carry you forward. I spoke to my father about changes and introspection today and he mentioned the catastrophe theory(used more in sports performance), but I couldn't find anything on that that I could quite understand . It also didn't quite correlate as the metaphor for my journey of late.


To me whats happening is more of a "behind the rip curl " stage : As the sea rises into a large wave from the edge of the shore it creates a curve that builds power and momentum. Taking in the flow and the power of the sea behind and before the point of forward propulsion , it is in reverse and rises higher looking back on itself before the final leap over its original direction , to join the shore again. A surfer stands within the curl using its energy to ride through. I think that's were Id like to be , that is what I aspire to , symbolically speaking , letting it all happen around me , able to stand within and be less affected. At the moment I'm sitting behind that curve waiting to leap up on the top and catapult into my new way of being, traversing a new path.

As with all healing, learning & changing you will go through a period of discomfort ,a temporary detachment, may be extra pain, feeling low, unsure and may be some extra heartache. It may feel like all the old tapes are playing and all old behaviours have come back to sit on your shoulder , you may feel awkward and have a great unease. Sounds great doesnt it!!

There's a reason for this , unpleasant as it may be . It is so that you can see what it is that needs to be dealt with , what needs a re think , what new ways need to be learnt and what is needed no more - ahhhhh to get rid of things , not only do I horde in my house , I horde old ways in my head!! Great and positive changes can occur after this stage, but unfortunately it cannot be avoided, whats needed is some support along the way - writing about it is one way , talking to others on the same path is another , oh and also some silly distraction, like working on surfing metaphors, to help along the way!

Image care of Made in England by Gentlemen

Where do think you are on the rip curl ? I think I might just be the ickle bitty fish above !!?

10 songs

The first iPod??

Image care of Stoker at safety joke

following Moniques latest post

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and
one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you
picked the songs you did)"

Here's my current playlist. Its sorta jumbled and eclectic. I often play them in the car when doing my little tiddles taxi service and I get asked to play several of them over and over!

Some are from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back , some are different versions of my own as I cant find them , some are fun , ones about being persistent , some are about introspection or not being introspective, some are about love and relationships whether its the difficult bits or the joy of it . Alot just speak to me on different levels . Its all a bit of mix like me really !

1. Closer by Ne-Yo (I'm feeling the bit about "I just cant stop")
2. Try Again by Aaliyah
3. American Beauty by Thomas Newman
4. Don't Look Back by Telepopmusik (little cupcake has just said this reminds her of summer)
5. Para un Angelito by Monica Ramos
6. With every heartbeat by Robyn (cupcake shouts the words out to this in the back of the car!)
7. 1 Thing by Amerie
8. Whenever Wherever by Shakira
9. Versions of Violence by Alanis Morissette
10. Think about me by Artful Dodger

If you want to listen Ive added the play list widget at the bottom of my blog.

Spirit intervenes

It seems they want me to STOP !!!

Sometimes you just have to stop as you have no choice; Stop the dialogue, stop the brain activity, stop talking, stop writing, stop running around and just BE. It’s not been easy and in some cases we just had to - well sort of, having been to 5 different social events including 2 parties in 5 days!!- hence the reason for so little posting - I apologise for anyone who actually reads this stuff and enjoys the lid being removed from my head every now and again, for having nothing fresh to write about for nearly a week except my nostalgic and sentimental video- more about the reasons for that soon!

Over the weekend and in less than 48hrs all our lights blew and the house was in total darkness, the front door bust and it could not be locked or unlocked, and we had to stay at home all day Saturday for the locksmith and electrician to rescue us! Then over the last few days my laptop keeps freezing and yesterday I found that the pads of my toes and just below are all swollen and sore, except I don’t recall having any accident or hurting myself, strange huh? It’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened either.

I realise I don't sit down and I'm not in my house for most of the day. When home I'm running up and down the garden rescuing little pickles and cupcakes, washing up, cooking, bathing kids and getting us all ready to go out. When out I’m, shopping, collecting or dropping off cupcake , involved in training classes for Reiki and mediumship on Sundays every few weeks, rushing to get to circle in the evening middle of the week or some other evening school social event or just standing here at the laptop writing for my 2 blogs.

All of it involves activity (non stop), whether it be of the mind and body or with the expressive spaces I need to have; constant writing daily. I’ve mentioned before being grammatically challenged and when life gets hectic it’s sometimes even more of a push.

He the mans despairs of me in the evenings, as I can’t stop and just sit with him. I'm constantly in a state of flux, forever needing mental stimulation or distraction, thinking up new subjects to discuss or food ideas to make for Nosh of Love , (well for he the mans to make!). The result of which, I don't get to sleep till near 1am and average 6hrs a night of sleep. This I’ve found is really not enough for me. The end result lately is a lovely mix of, as you can see from my last post: irritability, tearfulness and behaviour no better than a 5 yr old and a feeling that I can’t do it all for everyone, oh and a messy house!!!!

I'm not aiming for sympathy here , a lot is my own doing , as I know I stretch myself in too many different directions and am now endeavouring to put myself through a course of CBT to top it all off , but I wonder : How many of us are like this and use it to avoid sitting alone with our thoughts? Also, how do we fit it all in with children and get to bed early? (Yes I know the main answer is you don’t!!).

So I sense that many would say, cut some of it out. This may mean less blogging or just less social events for my girls and me on my own time in the evenings or weekends. The deeper issue being: why am I avoiding the alone time, what is it I need to get hold of in me and cut out? My main dichotomy is I like to be alone, quiet, free spirited and not tied to anyone or anything, but also on the flip side, I’m keen on moving my life in a new direction and I love being with others and going out!!

I'm aware that I need to meditate more, as this is key to making lots of areas flow better in life, but this constant adrenalin kick means I find it hard to switch off and flick to down time.

My main thought is to just turn the laptop off, (or not even turn it on, GASPPPPP) , not allow the TV to go on at all and just go straight up to my room , (the most peaceful space in this house) , after my girls bed time and just sit with my iPod and here’s a little tip for those who find it hard to go alone on this and need some help , listen to the collection of guided meditations I’ve downloaded through iTunes from PodcastAlley.

I then also factor in not being with he the mans till late and then I'm back to my dilemma of how to make time for meditation and everything else I seem to need to do.

See it just goes to show, one can’t always practise what they preach, (or in my case and here’s my reverse self righteousness), use the tools I know very well how to use!

Sometimes you just can’t do it all and sometimes spirits do things so you can’t do it all, whilst writing this my server decided to slow down to a snails pace and then came to a complete STOP. I had to quickly save this to word to continue it and prevent its loss.

It seemed they didn’t want me on the laptop last night either to finish this post, as my browser then wouldn’t even load. I think the message finally got through ; I need to relax more and find a more balanced approach!!!!

So yes spirit, my laptop went off for the rest of the evening and as you know I sat in the garden for dinner!!

I am now trying to get this is out in the blogger world this morning.

Namaste all

X

Use Sunscreen

Tears , tired, these words :

Monique asks :

Image care of Feuillu on Flickr - Light lines (cc)

Another great question was posed in my comments to me by Monique last week and I thought it was such a good one that it inspired another post and a way to introduce a little more about what I do.

When you say you are a healer, how does that comes into play w/ your gift? I
hear healer and try to combine it w/ your gift and think uber concentrated
psychiatry.

Now brace yourselves for the tree hugging bit , its coming , so press pause on your belief systems for a minute!

A spiritual or Reiki healer, (these being different methods or modality's), is merely a channel for universal energy, divine essence, universal light, G%d light, life force or divine light . Call it what you will, it basically boils down to sending through unconditional love from the other realms beyond the physical to another by the laying on or laying over of hands. When I heal ,(in whatever modality) its not actually me doing the healing. I'm purely a vessel/channel source to send it through to the recipient. Do you need me to connect with this ? Probably not ,but not everyone allows themselves the time or the space to enjoy these moments. So going to a healer initialy may be a very good way to start.

There are many who don't see it as a gift and many see it as unproven and according to law I'm not actually even allowed to say that I'm channeling or healing anything. If I'm able to see-clairvoyance-, hear clairaudient- or feel - clairsentience -, a passed relatives of yours it is now deemed to be entertainment only. So wording what I do has become a very tricky thing indeed.

My "gift" comes into play when doing mediumship work, as I suppose I don't feel that my gift is healing ,yes it is a gift to be doing the work and be "of service" to others, but I feel more that mediumship is were I seem to have some kind of ability.

I can be doing healing and yes very much pick up on things physical , but according to healing codes of conduct I'm not allowed to prescribe or diagnose from this sensing as I'm not a doctor. I can guide someone to may be see a GP or even just be careful in one area or another and again that's hard as there are so many layers of organs, muscle and tissue. I cant pretend to know the anatomy either. Well that is unless your laying there with a 6pack! I will not be claiming to cure , neither to eradicate any illness or diseases. I can tell you you will be relaxed , may sleep better or just feel calmer, if because of this you feel better or your disease coincidentally improves , I will not be able to say that it was due to my work. So yes I can say what I do is beneficial and enhancing for your life.

I may very well pick up on things to do with your personal life , but again ,as Ive been asked to do healing , then healing is what I will offer. Once I cross over into merging the two , then clients would just come on the pretext of healing and end up receiving a reading to , (and I'd have to charge a two for one offer!!!!). Yes I will be using the same energy to heal and do a reading , (when I say reading , I mean psychic - personal and about YOU- or clairvoyant and about linked passed relatives or friends), but I will try my hardest to keep them very separate. I hope to always work with integrity , so with regards to personal information ,(like you may be kissing someone who's not your boyfriend, or your mums a secret agent, or you haven't bathed for 4days !!!), I would keep it in the strictest confidence.

With regards to any psychiatry (ooh shiver!!) , I wouldn't want to go into those realms and don't even dare to, I'm probably more of a mess than they are!!!!!!!

Basically I just want to give you a bit of lurrving and not the touching kind!!!! Well may be your heart!