My blogs 1st birthday and my hats!

I cant believe March has come and gone in a blur of craziness, builders and mess and I was remiss to come on and say Happy 1st Birthday to my blog!

My blog started in a slue of words, creativity and energy and well life has got hectic of late and burning the midnight oil to get posts done has been errmm somewhat taken over by my tweetfests! I'm sure many can own up to that!

I am going to start sounding like I'm giving a rather sugary awards acceptance speech right now, so you have been warned!

I want to show gratefulness to those last year who helped get me started and supported me in the early few weeks when I was a blog virgin , so thank you Monique from Escape hatch & Barbara from Candy Hearts and paper flowers . We may not speak often , but you were very helpful and it was great to make connections across the pond!

Chloe , my lovely friend from Yorkshire who owns the lovely and funny craft & jewellery blog Mee , we often are on the same page with many things in our lives. Shes the one who always is interested in what I do and is always supportive and when she can, with her very busy household , always comes on and reads & comments here. I'm sure if we lived near each other we would see each other often.

I don't know were my Gifted Hand blog is going lately and I'm on a path of new discovery right now which means I'm having to take much more contemplation time. Its like I'm learning how to be a new version of me. Sometimes I think wow great I really have something to contribute to this turning world , other times I just want to hide and lick my own self imposed wounds!

I'm really enjoying using my Reiki connection at the hospice and despite treating patients and some carers who are dealing with all sorts of cancers, I find it very rewarding.Many friends and family have been wary of it, asking; wouldn't it make me sad or upset? I don't feel that at all. I'm facilitating others to relax, reduce their pain and more importantly give them some time that isn't about doctors and hospital appointments, I feel very privileged to be able to be a channel for that. It seems to help me as much as them so its not all an altruistic act!

My mediumship abilities still astound me and I cant yet see a picture of where this skill is going to take me , sometimes I don't even know why I'm doing it!! I think Ive been going for over 2yrs and was definately guided to go there. Sometimes I feel like Im doing for doing it , and other times I come home blown away by energy and information. Despite that my classes are challenging and fun all the same. I get a real buzz when we do our podium style practise evenings and Im the one doing readings and getting lots of validation of who and what Im seeing. To help others connect with ones they've lost is also a moving experience.

The mind work is proving also to be a double edged sword. On the one hand Im tapping into all sorts of layers that I didn't connect together and its such a relief to get it out of me and deal with. Earlier in my blog I spoke about sabotagin myself and doing things to stop my own light shining. Like the words from Tyra banks in Americas next top model cycle 11 (yes she can be profound even if it is only a fashion thing) ; "You are standing in your own way".Opening up and sharing what Ive held in, which is preventing my own progression, is helping me to tear down some of my own self imposed blocks. Sometimes I'm finished for a week and I'm like aaaaahhh big sigh of relief to offload, other times I think it would be easier to just get off the social wheel and go hide from it all!

Lastly there's my family , my girls give me so much too as I see them develop. They are both very loving and affectionate creatures and I hope that's a reflection of my own parenting. Don't get me wrong , they're angels with devilish ways also, little pickle is getting extremely picklish lately, expressing her self as a person in her own right! Right now eldest has just shouted from the conservatory that pickles is doing something naughty; he the mans and I have walked in to find chocolate ice cream smeared all over the floor tiles and down her face and clothes and a look of "who me" on her face! My eldest also does things that just blow me away. I fell over the other day at home , and little cupcake came and put her hand on me and said she was doing what I do by giving Reiki, I was so touched.

Wearing several hats can be rewarding and exciting and it makes you feel like life is moving and not stagnating , but it also means I'm spread thin and don't have much time in there for me to just be. Small things like being OK with pyjama and TV time , or just sitting in the bath for an hour once my girls are in bed or even having some spa or holistic treatments. Something is always niggling and I seem to feel I should be busy tidying or organising or writing or being something (a new modern times phenomena?). Like what I do for my patients ; give them back some me time, I need to allow it for myself . I'm working on that and making sure I don't put my needs aside to often, because if I don't recharge then I cant put on all my hats and that will not do.

How do you put your many hats down? Whats the thing that helps you tune out? Is it a huge bar of chocolate and a hot bath or are you a constant on the go person?

Coping through the crazies!

Right now I'm literally sitting amongst the debris that was my home! No there's not been an act of god , but an act of builders! Instead of having a client I am the client! For the last few months I have been in long discussion with a Kitchen designer , lighting suppliers and a building team. Ive had fun creating a crisp, fun & striking environment that works much better for the family and updates our home. As lovely and homely as it was , it didn't really work well and storage has always been an issue. We are so looking forward to living in a much more ergonomically laid out setting. We've lived for nearly 7 years with fridges under stairs , doors crashing into each other, pots and pans spilling out all over, creaking plumbing and blocked pipes. This week most of that has GONE and hopefully so has the clogged up energy that was in it too!

Living amongst the carnage is an experience I'm not sure I'll repeat and every surface is covered in thick dust : I have floorboards, raw brick walls and up until yesterday, no ceiling! but despite all this I keep reminding myself how grateful I am to be able to do something like this. Its also been very exciting getting my interior design abilities out the cupboard for a dust off and it will be a thrill to see our design evolve in the next few weeks. Ive even helped a supplier springboard some new ideas in product development and image change with a commission for this build. They're also quite looking forward to see the finished article in place.

Another huge challenge has been the sudden medical state of my little big cupcake, literally the DAY AFTER the build started, 3 weeks ago, little big cupcake decided it would be good , alongside our house being cut to bits, to be rushed into hospital for several days, culminating in 3 hospital admissions in less than 4 weeks for the recurrence of the same symptoms ! Fraught , you will be! It started as a mystery infection, (appendix was thrown into the picture), in the lower abdomen area and eventually got diagnosed as a kidney infection- possibly! Ive really had to step up in protecting this little person I created and make sure she gets the care she needs to get to the bottom of things. Its been a mystery to everyone that it reoccurred so many times and further investigation will still be ongoing.

Whatever is going on , I'm feeling there is a much big picture at play, but right now , no ones given me the instruction book! I read recently that if I cant work that out , then I'm to leave it to the universe to make it pan out as it should and develop coping mechanisms in the meantime. Listening to Jenni Barnett's LBC slot on 25th Feb there was a discussion on how to manage the difficulties in life and stay optimistic. It was said we need to cultivate a thought pattern that appreciates the small things ; a nice cup of tea, a hot bath, a vibrant snack , a huge bowl of freshly made chicken soup (lovingly prepared by my dad & what a small blessing that was), a tight hug from another offspring, my hand held by my own mum and whatever else makes you sigh with relief of fill you with joy. Ive spent many years writing joy lists and making sure every day I find just a small kernel of comfort, but sometimes you get dragged into an intensity of concern that makes you forget to do that, especially when its to do with your child's health.

I definitely think these small things do make a difference in a day that if seen from a negative angle would have you reeling , but seen through the split second flashes and teeny moments of relief, change the whole perception and frankly allow you the stamina to get through days of constant hospital stay ins ! Although I will say honestly that in these last few days, I have been tested to my utmost in all and every which way! We don't have the easiest of patients in our blessed (her Hebrew name is Bruchah) , little cupcake and this ole mama has had to use every mental and physical muscle to calm and soother her 24/7! Its quite surreal living in one curtained cubicle on and off for weeks next to your child.

My whole little section of the universe has gone Topsy turvy, coming home to the chaos of the house in between each admission as you can see has been a real test of my metal. Initially the wreck of the house seemed to pale into the distance but I'm now home in the thick of it, or rather thrown out of the thick of it , as the builders have made it a no pass zone this week! Ive turned into a refugee of my locale! Ive spent the whole week bouncing from friends and family, house to house, passing the day trying to relax away from my own comforts yet again and bring myself back together and recharge, whilst little cupcake is bounding around at school like a jack jumped out of the box! If only I had the bounce back that a child has!

When my girls get ill like that , the world seems to stop turning on the outside , whilst we are living in a typhoon on the inside! As much as I could, I have I passed Reiki through to her and EFT tapped our way out of her heightened alarm at repeated needles, IVs and antibiotic flushes. My feet have literally not touched the ground and I think neither has my spirit! All I could hear was the quiet voice of a spirit guide whispering , hang on little bird, hang on. (That seemed to be my only connection with my guides over this time). Despite using several different grounding techniques Ive spent every day through this as if Id spin right out of my body!

Most have said you cant control these things that they will always be thrown at you in life, but for me I feel they happen for a reason and as I said before I cant always get to that reason straight away. Despite the emotions and thoughts (& worries)they create, Its really made me think about manifestation and law of attraction and Ive been trying to overlay that concept with whats been coming about in our little life here. And to coin a phrase from a favourite blogger at Back in Skinny Jeans , I am using a "health prosperity partner" right now to sort out what kinks there are in my armour and finally help me draw out what I don't need anymore that might be attributing to some of this picture, as my responses to the stress the last few years since becoming a mother have been less than balanced! (May be that's just being a human in the face of extreme situations and places kids take you too!).

What coping techniques have you used to get through several challenges that have come at once? Do you think there's a bigger situation than can be seen being played out when this happens? Do you feel that a state of mind and awareness will change events or will it just change our perception of them?