Chrismakah tapping central

Image from NurseCrilly

Little cupcake is revisiting her Tornado hell ,(I have my nephew to thank again, hes such a doom merchant, but who can put down an amazing creative mind!), and Ive spent every night this week pulling out all my tricks. Ive done Reiki, the psychiatrists acknowledge/distract technique and the last 2 nights she's had miraculous relief from EFT - "even though tornado's are scary , I am safe , calm and secure"- tap tap tap. I didn't quite know what else to use as the statement, but it seemed to work wonders and she was calm (& laughing), in a few minutes from all out banshee screaming and terror. She whips her visual creative mind into a frenzy over these things poor little one, boy does she take after her mum. Who me?


We'll have a big change of scenery , for the 1st time ever this time of year, as were off off and away from the old blighty in under 48hrs to hot sunny Miami beach! Were all in need of some sun, having had a wash out summer and then 2week of flu and infection in this little house! Thank gawd were all nearly over that ,I bet he the mans wishes my voice was still gone though! This holiday will also mark the anniversary of little cupcakes nasty time last year culminating in surgery. It was round this date that she started to finally recover, shes come a long long way since then, such a miraculous difference for her in her short little life. Its all behind us now and we need to make sure we remind ourselves of the gift of modern medicines and treatments despite my sadness at the amount of drugs and nasty things she had to ingest month after month.



We have a huge "Chrismakah" lunch out tomorrow, near the city , with my family and my sisters boyfriends family too, (all 22 of us) , hmmmm , parents meeting parents, intriguing? Hes also taking her on a secret destination for a romantic trip, more hmmm!! I will probably be asked to do readings for everyone at some point, (my sisters Bf is always asking), may be not such a good idea after egg nog and all that , but I always take my cards with me everywhere. I bought a wonderful new set last week , the Godess guidance Oracle and they've been so accurate and on target I love them.

We've been packing all afternoon and it feels like Im trying to squeeze an elephant into a pair of tights with all the stuff were taking. I mean how many clothes , shoes , toiletries and bits of I- dont -know- what, do we need! Im sooo a Jewish girl when it comes to going away! My sister the ever efficient and compact one is amazed at my capsule shoe wardrobe for the trip, only 7 pairs as apposed to my usual 12!!! Im much to matchy matchy for my own good. Its something I need to learn to calm down from, appearance is far to much for me! As my friend coined many years ago , Im a lipstick tree hugger!!

I have to have new tunes when going away, it seems to help set the road trip tone to it all and helps in my insights and inner work, which flow much more easily when away from my normal routine. I'm busy adding Cd's to itunes and then my iPod, mainly Reiki ones, so amongst all the mayhem that is holidays abroad with kids and all of us on top of each other, I will find some peace.


On Monday a few from our development circle got together and later on in the evening all the lights were turned out and we sat at the table and had a mini seance. It started off as nothing out of the ordinary and then suddenly white balls of light were flashing on her ceiling , we all sat there trying to check ourselves ; was it a car? is there some equipment with a light flash? No, none of those. It was amazing and the whole other half of the room kind of vibrated and zig zagged with energy.


We ended the night by smudging the room with Nag champa incense asking for the energy build up to go back to Gaia and the Universe, as the dweller of the house needed to get to sleep! The room was full of others from the realms unseen coming for a chat and a nose at her dining table!


I will be back in a few weeks with some new posts that I have waiting in the wings and need some more work. I will probably spend much of my holiday reflecting on all that has happened in the last 365 days. I hope I have a notebook handy whilst there, I have quite a few things to prepare for in January; some help for me and help for others far more in need than I . Whilst away I may even find a way to get on too twitter, oh don't be silly of course I will!!


Hope whoever reads my blog has a great holiday time and a good break, Happy New year , Happy Chanukah.


What will you be reflecting on?

Enough about me for now (well at least this post!!)

Pontoon Bridge image almost as seen in attunment

Etchu Province, Toyama, Pontoon

Care of Castle fine arts

I need to hear from you , my readers out there. Ive noticed that many readers come here after google searching for Reiki cleansing. So Id like to hear how your cleansing experiences have gone; are you finding even way past the 21 days , months even , that you are becoming more self aware? That every living experience is noticed much more in fine detail? Is your life lighter or has it made you feel you've sunk a bit into sludge, created by years of burying pain? Are you questioning your way of life more ? Do relationships suddenly seem more in the spotlight? Are you self healing every day? Do you do every hand position or just one on the centre of the body? Or even has it had no effects at ll? Id really like to know.

Also did you write a cleansing diary and if so have you looked back at it , whats changed, if anything? Has your life since Reiki taken you down a new path? See now Im thinking ahhhhhhh , I must go and look at mine.

Ive been talking a lot about myself , my self development and the things I do to pull myself from darky avenue. What I want to know is how others keep themselves balanced and light. The Reiki way of life can completely change your aspect on things , so kind of like best practise at work , whats been working for you?

Oh and even if you haven't done Reiki , but some other life development work, and some of the questions above relate , then Id like to hear about that too.

Its always good to share others experiences , and the things that you benefit from. I'm sure we can all learn something new from others and a different approach is always great even if its something simple. I remember talking with circle friends about self healing, sometimes at bed time , I'm really not in the mood for doing every hand movement and this meant that I actually didn't do it on several nights. One of the others girls suggested just working on the solar plexus chakra, so now, (when I remember), I just lay my hand there, do what I need (being the sacred symbols that I try not to disclose if I can help it) and let it do its thing.

Namaste x

Precipice

I think when I 1st set this blog out, I was full of summer sun hope. Now the days are dark and short , I seem to be wallowing in a pity party or just possibly have the condition SAD going on?What comes with this pity party is a feeling that somehow I'm a fake - How can I be spiritual and talk of inner peace and calm and yet inside I'm feeling inner turmoil? How can I look after others and care for them if I don't get my own house in order? The thing Is I do want to get it in order ,dig up the foundations and re do them, but I cant see who too turn too to help me with it.

The other thought is ,how much do I disclose here before this space goes from "being in the light" to gradually standing in the dark looking into a big black gaping hole? It then self perpetuates , what you focus on is what grows doesn't it?

So how to share the whats going down here, but not the how I got here?

Whats going down? That's been a question of mine for many years , its the reason I took the road less travelled, finding a way to ride the storms I find with emotions and mind tricks. The problem is I'm having guilt in being human and not always feeling so spiritual. Guilt associated with having feelings that are less than peaceful and doing things that are basically not good for my soul, mind or my body.

I wrote the above about 7 days ago and its been a very strange time of roller coaster feelings and behaviour some days I'm surrounded by others but feel I'm in some glass box , were no one can see me or they do, but cant penetrate the surface to me inside.

In that time I have sought some help and hopefully will find some relief in that, although it may take some weeks to come about. I finally owned up to the things Ive been doing to sabotage myself to my parents and they have been checking on me every day since, I cant say more than that right now and I know I'm talking in code and being vague , but I'm holding several of my cards to chest here until I see fit to disclose more when I'm in a place to .

Ive been more open with some of the people around me, well within boundaries that is . Ive learnt some hard lessons the last few weeks ; firstly I'm learning for once In my life I don't have to tell all and sundry what I'm about and why, although unfortunately it can just come off as a vibe and secondly be careful who you share with for not everyone has the capacity for more than a surface kind of interaction and not everyone will safeguard your heart and being , not everyone wants to , and why should they.

May be this is a lesson in self forgiving , in being able to have low ebbs and know I'm still a great human being , still have something to give and still caring about others. I know some in this world will see me as flaky or a bit subdued right now, (I tell you the playground school run is trench warfare), but I know I will come through this again as I have done in the past, Ive been down further than this and come back again. I know what I'm about and if others don't see my heart and soul for what it is , then I cant do anything about that.

Despite this , some people around me have stepped up and stepped closer (whilst many have stepped away) and may be they are the main ones to concentrate on for now ,for aqquantances are fun , but when the chips are down ...................................yada yada. My work at my now closed development circle goes from strength to strength , although the good work I do , I feel, is more to do with the universal presence's/beings/spirits that help me rather than my doing.

Could all of this be a part of my re boot !??

I just want to say a thank you to the universal sources that are still with me and continue to want to work with me. I'm privileged to be able to do this work. Its what holds me in so many ways, it is as the cliche says , a lightness in the the dark . (I feel I'm making an acceptance speech, shine those oscars, theres one with my name on it!!).

Isnt it amazing how cathartic writing is.

Namaste

x

Its my birthday and ill cry if I want to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't really have a birthday day today as such , although I had a quick meet up lunch with my mum on her work lunch break with my two girls and a visit to the park with li'l cupcakes schoolfriend. We have planned at the weekend , a lovely meal in a special restaurant on Saturday . You will hear more of which on Nosh of Love next week Im sure and a shopping trip into central London on Sunday to sort my Birthday pressie out from he the mans.

Ive felt a bit flat as I'm now much nearer to 40 than 30 today!

I know its only a number , and I know spiritually I shouldnt worry about age and time lines , but it just feels very weird. Its like were did all that time go, Im shocked I think !!!

Ive felt very much stuck the last few weeks and Ive been fixating on the wrong things : , Internet use, staying up late, not eating well , worrying about social life, other people and their reactions and things outside of me. I was told last night two things : 1) that all this distraction needs to stop 2) the opportunities I search for may not be the ones that come to be the right ones.

To clear all the debris away I need to have a good ole cry - healing tears of course - and get it out and get moving forward, I have work to do you see now. I really really have to start in earnest with my Reiki path . So I know I need to focus on the positives and last nights circle was a wonderful recap of the energy I can work with and the power I have in myself.

Image care of Erika on My Space , found on Dr.Romel Axibal at My Space

It was a lovely healing evening and one that was very very much needed. It really helped me get back in touch with my healing abilities and was nice to slow down and relax a bit. We spent the first half of the evening doing energy exercises : feeling our own energy by holding our hands out in front as if holding a football and feeling were you sense resistance. Shutting down and then re opening to universal energy and feeling the difference is mind blowing , even our resident sceptic to healing was blown away! As someone nicely put it last night, "Its the difference between holding a tennis ball and then holding a beach ball" !! We also did the same in pairs before and after breathing in Universal light and had to give the sitter one message about themselves . Its a wonderful way of really feeling the difference from every day being to the expanded energy we work with in medium ship and healing. We then grouped into Reiki levels and non Reiki levels and partnered up to practise and connect for a psychic or clairvoyant message for the recipient.

I felt it was actually easier to connect once we'd done the energy work and I need to remember the practise of it when working. It was also great to receive feedback on my healing as I generally only practise on my girls. I have done my father for 10minutes post Reiki II and he found it immensely soothing and my mother in law before my Reiki II, (which really is- at level I- as our teacher says an "inspired Spiritual healing") , but to get outside validation is great for this work. The sitter said she never normally relaxes , but that with my short session she very much felt deeply calmed. To know that I'm channelling something and this is having a strong effect is a great feeling. To know its helping someone feel good is the best feeling I could ever get. The healing I received from her in return was wonderful and the end to the evening at my lovely friends home - were she fed me after (spiritually and physically), gosh you get soooo hungry after circle- I think has helped me re evaluate some of the odd stuck place I got my head at recently.

Ive noticed the time and seen that its just after 11:30 pm. Normally I would keep going until way past midnight , but so I can get some much needed down time, I will keep this post briefer than normal and head off to get into sleep mode. If I set a small intention now , it may help discipline me through the days.

I thank the universe and the friends for the gift of their time and the experience of the evening.

Night all x

slowing down the pendulum swing

Healing isn't the easiest path despite the experience of many wonderful special mystical and euphoric moments , not all of them being of the phenomenal variety , just ahhh isn't that lovely. Sometimes some nights and some days can be tough, painful , embarrassing and down right frustrating and all I want to do is climb in bed or a hot bath ,set my ipod to a guided meditation and be done with it! I have many old fears that have arisen lately, I know why , as its now that I need to clear them. I'm feeling things I haven't for years and years, so re experiencing them at this time, rather than being unconscious of them, having buried them temporarily deep inside, is whats required to move on and fully clear any related debris . The hardest thing is finding a way of working through them alone, which may be is one of the reasons why I have created this space , so I can share and be with others on some of the tougher times.

Many of us have a preconceived idea that all healing is just harps , angels, love and flowers , and yes it can be and its wonderful when you feel a deep surge of ; wow, life is amazing, but also its about coming to terms with things in our life that shape us and its not always the nicest parts.

The reason for this work is mainly so that I can be clearer and more focused when healing others, in order to do this I need to learn how to no longer be a slave to outside forces ,whether it be health , other peoples emotions or just the layers of things that modern life brings to us ; car breaking down , encountering road rage , laptop freezing , disastrous client orders, mice eating your cereal & ad finitum....... When I say slave , I'm talking of not being able to control the huge swings of emotions related to uncontrollable happenings, hence the pendulum swings. I'm also talking of the things we can control , but don't aways know how ,as habitual behavior patterns have set in.

Ive been reading a blog about a women's blogging journey through weight loss called Back in skinny Jeans and stumbled upon her post regarding the healing curve. Its extremely inspiring stuff and can apply to many even without weight loss issues. Despite being extremely lucky, right now that is, and not needing to loose weight, well in only having to continue to eat healthily, (a challenge in itself) , I can very much relate to what she says in many of her posts and speaks to me in how I have lived my life and currently interact with others. Reading it tonight couldn't be more timely and I may as yet disclose on here some of the more personal challenges I have had. This post is yet even more inspiring in its content right this minute , I feel very compelled to connect with this force of positivity and speak with her in person.

Ive been at all sorts of weights in my later life and went on a brief journey of going from a size 0 (I had to wear kids clothes, I kid you not), up to a 12 , then during my 1st pregnancy ballooning to a size 16 and coming all the way back down again, well not quite, but I digress. The healing curve concept communicated in her post is a great visual tool in aiding your progress from the starting point to were you are now. Its not something we normally apply to our life goals , as we tend to just plod along each day and then get caught in the intensiveness of a current set back rather than view the bigger picture.

Id like to apply it to my current place in my journey , but as yet I'm not sure how I can transfer this to emotions or the shape of my psyche and outlook rather than weight loss. Weight is tangible and measured, emotions are not! and I'm thinking aloud here , what I may have to do is come up with a positivity chart using short phrases that tracks my lifestyle through the last few years? This bit I need to work on I think !

A little too intensely naval gazing like you say , possibly , but if I disclose at some point the tougher, grittier and more personal aspects of my life , I think you'd think ,hey may be this would be a good thing!!! We always need to see the sun shined aspects of things ,even if there are shadows forming.

Oh and I still secretly weigh myself , just encase I start to creep again. Shhhhhhhhhhhh dont tell anyone!