Enough about me for now (well at least this post!!)

Pontoon Bridge image almost as seen in attunment

Etchu Province, Toyama, Pontoon

Care of Castle fine arts

I need to hear from you , my readers out there. Ive noticed that many readers come here after google searching for Reiki cleansing. So Id like to hear how your cleansing experiences have gone; are you finding even way past the 21 days , months even , that you are becoming more self aware? That every living experience is noticed much more in fine detail? Is your life lighter or has it made you feel you've sunk a bit into sludge, created by years of burying pain? Are you questioning your way of life more ? Do relationships suddenly seem more in the spotlight? Are you self healing every day? Do you do every hand position or just one on the centre of the body? Or even has it had no effects at ll? Id really like to know.

Also did you write a cleansing diary and if so have you looked back at it , whats changed, if anything? Has your life since Reiki taken you down a new path? See now Im thinking ahhhhhhh , I must go and look at mine.

Ive been talking a lot about myself , my self development and the things I do to pull myself from darky avenue. What I want to know is how others keep themselves balanced and light. The Reiki way of life can completely change your aspect on things , so kind of like best practise at work , whats been working for you?

Oh and even if you haven't done Reiki , but some other life development work, and some of the questions above relate , then Id like to hear about that too.

Its always good to share others experiences , and the things that you benefit from. I'm sure we can all learn something new from others and a different approach is always great even if its something simple. I remember talking with circle friends about self healing, sometimes at bed time , I'm really not in the mood for doing every hand movement and this meant that I actually didn't do it on several nights. One of the others girls suggested just working on the solar plexus chakra, so now, (when I remember), I just lay my hand there, do what I need (being the sacred symbols that I try not to disclose if I can help it) and let it do its thing.

Namaste x

Guided by spirit?

I really feel sometimes I have to get my life on track and give it direction and purpose. That's on some days , on others I like it just flowing were it needs to go and roll the waves. Not having to be anywhere except school and nursery runs and just being mum sometimes suits my stress level limits and yes I also get enjoyment just from that, just being mum ! I say just being mum , thats a whole layered life that not all people think happen, a great book I found that validated my very little life was this : What mothers do , Especially When It Looks Like Nothing!

Every now again significant markers show up on my path and say to me , hang on, there's something you need to do, something inside that's moving me somewhere else.

A few months back I contacted a Hospice local to school. Id been in touch with the manager several times about being a Reiki Volunteer and she seemed very keen , saying that they didnt have someone currently and that not many people come forward. She made me aware that she was leaving and new person was to take over. My details were to be passed on. Weeks passed and I contacted them again. This time new manager answered , he know nothing of me , not a good sign. Suddenly he has a therapy room manager and no room for anyone else to do Reiki. I don't know if this is ego (mine and hers) or just a feeling or a signal that this wasn't the right direction , but the therapy manager irked me somewhat. Her main state of play was that SHE did the reiki and didn't need anyone else, but I could just come in and help out with various other activities . This , as altruistic as it may be , just didn't connect, Ive trained for Reiki , I want to give Reiki , I have a route to pass on healing, I just have to do it. I felt a huge block and a feeling of discomfort around my interaction with this person. An application came in from her in my inbox, I started to fill it out and then just had to stop. I couldn't do it. So it was shelved so to speak.

Were was I to go, my time is limited , I have only mornings to do anything and cant go to far from nursery , otherwise I eat into my useful time travelling. Everything went on pause.

I continued to go to circle and do my development.

I was aware of a hospice down the road from my house , but for some reason I had vaguely dismissed it, (10 minutes drive back from nursery) but it was always in the back of my mind.

Suddenly a new person turned up at circle and lo and behold she works as a volunteer at the very Hospice down the road from me and also they had just lost a volunteer therapist.

See Im new on this path of inner belief , so its taken me some weeks to gather myself up into a more confident ball and throw it at the newness of this all. I took myself down there a couple of weeks back and introduced myself after this lovely new person at circle had put a word in for me.

My ideal was to do this work on Monday as a good start to the week, and also I could only work up till 11:30. So what sessions did they have available for patients? Yes , the very day and time I had been thinking was ideal! There and then she handed me the paperwork and hoped to see me again.

Im still in the space of : can I do this and will I be able to make a difference???? Its a whole new world for me. I will be dealing with patients who are terminal , my intensely emotional self , doesn't yet know how this will feel. Or what will be brought up. Its quite a big turn for me , having been treated for serious Post traumatic stress disorder related to medical experiences only 2-3 years ago. Why in my life do I always turn to look at the face of my demons? My original career went against the shy quiet type I may have been labelled as, and this , wellllll who would have known that the once me that would have a panic attack sitting in a hospital is now planning to sit at the head of a patient and look after them?

So Im now up to the stage of getting this horse out of the stable and giving something of myself back to others. I have yet to fill in forms , (thats a whole other new challenge, merging the old business me and the new me in an up to date CV) and get all sorts of insurance and police checks , but I hope by the end of the year things will have moved forward somewhat. I have yet to find my old CV on some external hardrive, its very London office (or Recruitmet agency)styleeee and not been updated for some time. I have to get this all done tout suite and feel Im harnessing the opportunity as soon as I can. Its a must, but my old ego head is slowing it down.

Is it a plan or an intention and if I dont seize it now, what will I miss? Will an intention work better than a goal or a dream. I hope so, it feels as if its all waiting for me , these things happening , as if jigswa peices have been slotted in , are not just happen chance. Will I be given a hand to organise it all and make it fit into place all the more easily, are they listening up there?!!!!!!

Think I have to get my cosmic order book out again ?!

Image care of Nicholas Arwin of Enhanced perceptions, amazing "visonary Art" site.

Its been a while

I just wanted to post a little something to say I'm still breathing , still healing and still here, just!!!! I don't know were the time goes, I didn't realise I hadn't posted for 2 weeks. Before I knew it another week had flown by and then another one.

The end of August was marked by an early celebration of our wedding anniversary,(read all about it on Nosh of Love when my post is done). Wow 9 years has also flown by! Every weekend has been busy so far non stop and every day is filled to the brim with activities with my girls, mainly cupcakes friends. By the evening I'm goggle eyed and ready for - not much!

Us 3 girls are all ready in this house as of this coming Monday, for life to change yet again into a new routine ,bring it on! Little cupcake starts reception and pickle will have her 1st full week of nursery down the road. I will have a child free two and a half hours a morning, 3 days a week to heal the world, (well my local area world that is) !!!!!!

I'm thinking I'm kidding myself that I wont be choked up next week at sitting in my house- alone -suddenly realising my little babies are no longer babies! Ive felt a little rising here and there and I push it away!

The culmination of all that pushing away emotions and staying busy brought on a migraine attack of revolting proportions, the likes I haven't had for many many years. It stopped me in my tracks early this week and put a stop to any TV, PC or mobile phone viewing of any kind. I think my body was trying to tell me AGAIN that I just have to stop and slow it down sometimes and shut the world out a lot more than I do. After several hours of sickness my body just shut down on me I had no choice but to go to bed at 7pm and apart from my normal, I-want-my-dummy 2am call, awoke Wednesday 7am , a 1st in YEARS.

Today marks the last day of the summer holidays, tis been a long one,( for some reason I don't count the weekend!). Labels have to be collected to be ironed on around 30 garments and items and a psyching up for the next school stage to be done, both me and cupcake!

Ive had to bring out my Reiki hands on several occasions recently for our little cupcake. She seems to be going through a stage of nightmares and night terrors. Some of the visions shes been having are a bit unusual for a nearly 5yr old I have to say ; WARNING MINOR GRIM VISIONS FOLLOWING : blood soaked faces ,baby's being taken from cut stomachs and people being sucked by tubes (the tornado repeat performance from last week) . In some spiritual circles these may be explained as a sign of past life occurrences. I'm trying to work out whether shes seen this imagery on TV , although I don't give her access to news , medical documentaries, horror films or drama programmes.

The thing is you never know what they see in the millions of things that pass our eyes every day. I'm really not sure at all whats going on, for me , its possibly just an overwhelmed creative and sensitive imagination like her mums (she so needs some school to channel this)!!

I'm very careful to not implant any further ideas or deep explanations for her at this young age , especially nothing esoteric or deeply spiritual . I just always try and show her ways to use mind over matter with visualisations and positive imagery. So out come our "flava fairies" , who sit with her at a magical table and create ice cream for her in any flavour , or her imaginary friend "Isis" , who is her magical strong purple & green monster, who protects her and guards her.

Its taken all week of doing this for her to settle more calmly this evening. Well in relative terms that is, as I still had to go in 3 times to kiss a sore finger , find her water or do 5 minutes Reiki! Instead of an hour later of things, we had a mere half an hour!

Such is a mothers life!

Its my birthday and ill cry if I want to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't really have a birthday day today as such , although I had a quick meet up lunch with my mum on her work lunch break with my two girls and a visit to the park with li'l cupcakes schoolfriend. We have planned at the weekend , a lovely meal in a special restaurant on Saturday . You will hear more of which on Nosh of Love next week Im sure and a shopping trip into central London on Sunday to sort my Birthday pressie out from he the mans.

Ive felt a bit flat as I'm now much nearer to 40 than 30 today!

I know its only a number , and I know spiritually I shouldnt worry about age and time lines , but it just feels very weird. Its like were did all that time go, Im shocked I think !!!

Ive felt very much stuck the last few weeks and Ive been fixating on the wrong things : , Internet use, staying up late, not eating well , worrying about social life, other people and their reactions and things outside of me. I was told last night two things : 1) that all this distraction needs to stop 2) the opportunities I search for may not be the ones that come to be the right ones.

To clear all the debris away I need to have a good ole cry - healing tears of course - and get it out and get moving forward, I have work to do you see now. I really really have to start in earnest with my Reiki path . So I know I need to focus on the positives and last nights circle was a wonderful recap of the energy I can work with and the power I have in myself.

Image care of Erika on My Space , found on Dr.Romel Axibal at My Space

It was a lovely healing evening and one that was very very much needed. It really helped me get back in touch with my healing abilities and was nice to slow down and relax a bit. We spent the first half of the evening doing energy exercises : feeling our own energy by holding our hands out in front as if holding a football and feeling were you sense resistance. Shutting down and then re opening to universal energy and feeling the difference is mind blowing , even our resident sceptic to healing was blown away! As someone nicely put it last night, "Its the difference between holding a tennis ball and then holding a beach ball" !! We also did the same in pairs before and after breathing in Universal light and had to give the sitter one message about themselves . Its a wonderful way of really feeling the difference from every day being to the expanded energy we work with in medium ship and healing. We then grouped into Reiki levels and non Reiki levels and partnered up to practise and connect for a psychic or clairvoyant message for the recipient.

I felt it was actually easier to connect once we'd done the energy work and I need to remember the practise of it when working. It was also great to receive feedback on my healing as I generally only practise on my girls. I have done my father for 10minutes post Reiki II and he found it immensely soothing and my mother in law before my Reiki II, (which really is- at level I- as our teacher says an "inspired Spiritual healing") , but to get outside validation is great for this work. The sitter said she never normally relaxes , but that with my short session she very much felt deeply calmed. To know that I'm channelling something and this is having a strong effect is a great feeling. To know its helping someone feel good is the best feeling I could ever get. The healing I received from her in return was wonderful and the end to the evening at my lovely friends home - were she fed me after (spiritually and physically), gosh you get soooo hungry after circle- I think has helped me re evaluate some of the odd stuck place I got my head at recently.

Ive noticed the time and seen that its just after 11:30 pm. Normally I would keep going until way past midnight , but so I can get some much needed down time, I will keep this post briefer than normal and head off to get into sleep mode. If I set a small intention now , it may help discipline me through the days.

I thank the universe and the friends for the gift of their time and the experience of the evening.

Night all x

after a special day I retire to slumber

I go to bed now ready to fully embark on my Reiki practitioner journey. Tomorrow is the start of my 2nd 21day cleansing ritual post Reiki attunement to level 2 today.

I opened my word journal again this evening, after a 40day ish break, to continue again the recording of the next steps for me in the direction of healer/counsellor.

This is were I need to sort out in my head this week were I record things. Do I divulge all my experiences here , or write it all out in my journal and then paste in the bits I can feel comfortable sharing? May be by writing I can help answer it in my stream of thought.

At the end of the main session we took it in turns to practise our new raised level of healing, having received visually all the sacred symbols to be used in our practise. After receiving Reiki healing myself today I felt much slowed down , wanting to be serene, quiet and take rest. I started the day wound up a bit like a cog, after some unusual events late last night, witnessing an attempted burglary at my parents home!

I have so much to say on my day’s experiences, but I feel I need to contain it a little longer and allow my head to rest and digest it all. I will then divulge all the days’ wonderful visions, happenings and emotions. The synchronicity was amazing and has to be recorded lest I forget!

Reiki 2 day today

I return once again to my mystical healing journey as today I will be training for my level 2 Reiki. I'm quite excited as this means that by UK law I can get my liability insurance and start practising as a healer legitimately.

What do I make of the last few months of my journey , well certainly for me , Reiki 1 has given me more clarity in readings, I more accurately come through with the correct information for my sitters , although with anyone , we always get some things wrong., that's being human and learning humbleness.

What mystical experiences can one have surrounded by synthetic rocks and waterfalls ? well sometimes they can surprise you , as one morning away , I took myself on a guided meditation to the temple of Akashic records.




I wish to expand on that experience later today , for now enjoy the link.

I need to get to my course this morning!!

Namaste to all

xx

Final Reiki clear out?

A little bit on my progress with Reiki cleansing

Ive come on today and realised that I haven't been on all week and since Monday have felt a bit distant. Ive hardly been able to come on here due to an ongoing situation with a client of mine and the case of a 2yr old order (nuff said!) , school education evening and of course my precious circle evening on Wednesday. Its been a struggle to write on my journal as will and since my last post ,Ive felt quite blah. I think as this is the penultimate day of cleansing (day 20 of 21) , Im thinking may be there's a final debris removal in the mind body spirit. Either that or I just can blame it on a stinking cold. All us girls have it in this house , pass the tissues!

It seems all my old issues have raised up , and made me think quite intensely about what it is I would like to do to feel better about things. Its amazing how much more aware I am of every living moment. I feel Im living immediate karma , although Im doubtful to that existing and think its more a state of mind. As soon as I think about what it is I need to work on in my life , something manifests that challenges it an gives me opportunities to re think my approach. The only thing is that in some cases Im holding onto the old way. Its not the easiest way to live & sometimes I just want to get drunk and be stupid and feel more carefree It certainly means I live more consciously and hope that it helps me when healing others, if I know how I operate my life. I am told a good healer is one that can empathise on a deep level of understanding and the only way is to experience many of the challenges that life offers to do this. I feel I have a great responsibility and dont want to be to indulgent in the self, but also I dont want to be a martyr to my cause , but likewise I need to live lighter I think.

May be a run naked in a field will do it?

What do you think?