The hands have it

For some reading the following , this may seem extremely left field and almost incomprehensible, for others you may be able to identify with the experience, nevertheless , my words are true & my description is as close to what happened as possible

On the Monday of June 2nd 09, I had my 1st real trance experience at circle, one that I did not expect as we sat down in our pairs (chosen via raffle tickets)! I thought I was just going to have my usual Monday experience ; fairly intense but nothing out of the ordinary. Yet 20 minutes into my turn to trance heal and I felt the most unbelievable and strangely connected syncing with the person I was healing I had ever felt,I don't think I will ever forget the experience. I still cant quite believe it and I keep on going over the experience in my mind reliving it, as it was so powerful . It wasn't unpleasant , but it wasn't pleasant either ; my whole body felt as if it was being held in this strange , well the only word I can find is - Trance!!

The only clue in hindsight that things would be different was that at the hospice that morning when treating patients was that my whole body shook and my hands vibrated so much , I had to concentrate on not making it a discomforting experience for them. But both of them came round in a stooper as if they had been in an intense dream sleep. I hadnt yet experienced this whilst healing.

Im found 10 days later at my following Monday circle I could, (well for now, as you never know when your abilities will ebb and flow), go into trance or meditation at the drop of a hat.

All I keep seeing is how my hands on that Monday were stuck to my recipients back as if glued on or magnetised to them, almost as if they were sinking in to that person. I know when spirit are near as I normally feel my body leaning to the side or as if Im in a force field I cant move from, but this time my whole body was moved and slumped forward and it was damn hard to control. I totally took on the shape and form of the grandmother of the recipient and started to feel an intense amount of emotion for them both. The feeling of compassion was so strong it took over my whole body , like nothing I have ever experienced. As my circle leaders voice came into frequency and I heard his words "please step back from the medium" , I came whooshing out with such force that it brought on hyperventilation and a rush of emotion that left me sobbing. It was an extreme shock to my system , as I was being pulled from one level of consciousness to another. Hyperventilation is something Ive had to deal with in the recent past so thankfully , due to my, (lets call it training in how to deal with acute panic attacks), I think I was just about able to stave it off. Our teacher has discussed on several occasions that coming out too quickly can cause this effect , but until your actually in that deep , you don't quite realise how hard it is too harness the information you've been told to prevent it. I know for sure I will know for next time!

I am surprised Im able to write about it , as I feel part of my consciousness was almost of another plane for that half hour of my life, but Ive been teaching myself how to recall dreams, as it was something very much recommended for my work. I' have been wondering if this is why I was told to do so, so that I can easily connect with what I see and feel when on another level.

During the experience I felt many things ; Spirit had stepped in to my aura so closely that I felt my whole body being hugged and held , my head kept on being pulled back and my body was moved side to to side. It was hard to keep still. I still cant quite believe what I felt , as in all honesty , even at my circle watching others do this , Ive thought that may be Im being hoaxed , but yet I know that what Im writing is true. It felt extremely real and in no way forced, it was in fact a very special experience. One I don't think I will forget.

I hope to be able to connect in this way again, as it greatly benefits my work and my connection with the spirit who is trying to convey its message to me for my sitters. Just next time I must remember to ground a bit more on the exit!!

Life changing spiritual books, have you read one lately?

Image from Gurusoftware

See Ive always been one to go searching and searching for books, books and more books. When I'm in a groove , ill suck them up like a hoover on coke! But I have one proviso now when book hunting ; that they leap out at me and say , "you must must read me" , otherwise I just feel its not meant for me (that leap out looks very much like someones turned the saturation button up on the colours of the front cover). Although recently I picked up Eat Pray Love in an Airport shop and I just had to buy it , despite putting it back several times on the shelf , (as I had taken 3 new books already & by the way I still haven't started) . I'm halfway and so far I'm really enjoying it. Its one of those books I look forward to going to bed for so I can get down into it. Until this book, that resonance hasn't happened for some time. One theory from my teacher is that Ive done enough input work , now I need to output, do the practicals.

I tend to have a few of them ,(well quite a few stacked by my bed on the floor and often when tidying I just sit and thumb through them). The main one in my recent past that has done that bam thing for me was Home with God and it blew my mind.

I remember going on the underground the day I finished it and had the most amazing experience. Yer I know , like how can travelling on the underground in London be amazing when you've been doing it for over 20 years. It was like I suddenly saw and felt what is was all about. I had this overwhelming feeling and its so hard to put it into words here, but I will try;

I suddenly felt that oneness with everything and saw through the illusions. Sitting there on the platform in the subdued light, I felt a connectedness and a wonder and I couldn't stop staring at everyone around me. It felt so surreal , and yet amazing all at the same time. I felt small and yet I felt joined. For that brief few minutes I expanded my consciousness beyond the layers of the tunnels, tarmac, road and tubing. It uplifted me out of myself and I felt joy without any need, energy without outside stimulus and a calm that came unfettered. I cant remember beyond this, but I think I was able to tap it briefly for a few weeks after. It was if I was allowed a brief window into our existence but the window wasn't opened for long for its energy was so powerful to comprehend.

Apart from climbing to the top of Angels Landing in Zion Canyon many years ago and riding a horse alone in Monument valley for an afternoon , Id say that this was very oddly one of the most amazing mystical moments of my life! Thats right , down on the dark , smelly, crazy busy London Underground!

So if you have one spiritual book that you felt really changed your thoughts and feelings on life , or made you fizz with recognition and gave you inspiration, new intentions or new ways to be , what was that?

Cleansing wheels

Today for the 1st time in weeks I awoke feeling more uplifted , like my energy had shifted and some of the debris & detritus had been removed over the last few days. I don't know if its acceptance from others around me of the real me or the fact that the real me and the social facade me have come together and I can start being a more authentic person rather than the fractured splintered version.

I spent this weekend taking time to be just at home being quiet and tidying and not really doing much. I spend most days , full on , rushing here and there and I think Im finally having to say to things and people and expectations ENOUGH!

I also have just let out any of the emotional pains and negative thoughts that have been held tight inside the little protective boxes we all like to shelve deep within us. It wasn't all pretty and I ended up blubbing a lot the last 3 days like a 5yr old!! Whilst having a blub feels messy and painful , it felt good to have let it leave my space and the tight containment Ive put on it all. He the mans has actually surprised me and been extremely supportive ; listening , helping at home and with my cupcake and pickle. Hes even booked me for a full spa day of calming and soothing rituals. Its a real treat as the last one I did was over 5 years ago!! I need to make full use of whats on offer and hopefully relax and really give into it and allow it.

I still have to battle the demons that I touched upon in my previous post and yesterday marked the the new path of that work in my healing with my therapy assessment. I think many more little boxes (and not so little , but well wrapped and hidden boxes) , will need opening and clearing through. A bit like when you do the cupboards out , (you know the ones were you horde everything and anything and it all falls out when you open the door). It all gets into a bit of a mess before it can be re organised , but then after all that hard work of sifting through and a "do I need this anymore?" , It starts to then look all wonderfully tidy and neat again, this time with much less clutter around!

Mondays class was all about feeling Universal energy as powerfully as possibly , this meant working on deep hatha style breathing and imagining the light coming into our bodies very slowly (making it stop at each chakra, breathing deeply several times and drawing it in to that point to really feel its presence) , from our feet up to our crowns. We then went on further to clear our body minds and spirits with cleansing wheels. It may sound all tree huggy and hippy , but experiencing the effects of the wheel through you can be really powerful :

Visualise a huge cart wheel , see it glowing like a huge white vibrating light around you. See all its spokes going right through your whole body , see it starting at your base chakra. Imagine it spinning around you as fast as you can and as it spins , see it removing the pains and difficult emotions of the day. See them flying out beyond the spokes and disappearing into vapour. Gradually see it go up through each chakra and repeat the process. Notice how it feels at certain parts , does it move freely , does it stop and feel stuck ? Do you feel any physical feelings during this exercise? I did , I felt sick sick sick, but its all good , it means its doing its work and the effects don't last too long after. It may continue to do its work for a few days after and it may bring up some emotions , but allow them to rise , release and flow away. You can go up or down again to the same chakra if you feel it needs concentration. Its something you can do ever week , whilst watching TV , sitting in the car at the red lights or in a ritualised start to a deep meditation.

The purpose of all this?

Its so I can be of better service to myself , my family and those I endeavour to support via Reiki and mediumship. Our teacher that night likened our bodies to a water pipe , and when blocked our energy cannot flow free, our work will be harder as will the flow of water. So the more we cleanse , clear out and remove whats not needed the better channels we can be as messengers, aiding others through their own healing from whatever that may be.

Namaste

x