10 tracks part3 Tornados

My 10 new tracks this week as done by Monique at Escape Hatch

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend play list...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)"

Here's what we heard on the way to the restaurant for my birthday on Saturday, more details of which will follow in Nosh of Love , when I get round to writing it that is!

Id like to say it was a wonderful night ,but my sensitive little cupcake was in state about something her cousin had said during the day and wasn't letting us go easily, but wouldn't at all explain what was wrong, she was just hysterical .She was so terrified and worried that we didn't get it out of her till Sunday night, (the relief in her little face bless) , so our evening was spent concerned that she was upset and unusually playing up. I felt like the worse mum in the world!

Basically my 6 yr old nephew talked about large tubes coming down and sucking people up, never to be seen again . We gathered from him on Monday that he was actually describing Tornado's!!! What a great and descriptive imagination he has. We've now been spending every evening since then explaining that Tornado's don't happen very often and never in London!

Back to the music! Much of this is from he the mans Ipod as we seemed to spend a lot of time in his car last weekend. He has his on shuffle and I think its a really good way of listening , you don't have to think and also you get tracks played you'd even forgotten you have!!

The only track that I couldn't find was The main theme from the film Grand Canyon by composer James Newton Howard, so Ive subbed it for London (track 7) from the film Blood diamond instead , as London seemed to be a big theme for the weekend , spending most our time in the in the centre of it!

1. Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd,


2. All Through The Night by Cyndi Lauper,


3. The Eternal Vow from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon by Yo yo ma & Tan Dun


4. The Bourne Identity Theme --->Dj Ally Mac <--- (ReMiX) by Skyfxl Records Presents - Dj Ally Mac,


5. False Alarm by KT Tunstall,


6. Just Like Heaven by Katie Melua,


7. London by James Newton Howard,


8. Kylie Minogue - White Diamond [Bonus Track] by Kylie Minogue,


9. If You Think You're Lonely Now by Bobby Womack,


10. Speed of Sound by Coldplay

Look for the player at the bottom of the blog to hear it

Its my birthday and ill cry if I want to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't really have a birthday day today as such , although I had a quick meet up lunch with my mum on her work lunch break with my two girls and a visit to the park with li'l cupcakes schoolfriend. We have planned at the weekend , a lovely meal in a special restaurant on Saturday . You will hear more of which on Nosh of Love next week Im sure and a shopping trip into central London on Sunday to sort my Birthday pressie out from he the mans.

Ive felt a bit flat as I'm now much nearer to 40 than 30 today!

I know its only a number , and I know spiritually I shouldnt worry about age and time lines , but it just feels very weird. Its like were did all that time go, Im shocked I think !!!

Ive felt very much stuck the last few weeks and Ive been fixating on the wrong things : , Internet use, staying up late, not eating well , worrying about social life, other people and their reactions and things outside of me. I was told last night two things : 1) that all this distraction needs to stop 2) the opportunities I search for may not be the ones that come to be the right ones.

To clear all the debris away I need to have a good ole cry - healing tears of course - and get it out and get moving forward, I have work to do you see now. I really really have to start in earnest with my Reiki path . So I know I need to focus on the positives and last nights circle was a wonderful recap of the energy I can work with and the power I have in myself.

Image care of Erika on My Space , found on Dr.Romel Axibal at My Space

It was a lovely healing evening and one that was very very much needed. It really helped me get back in touch with my healing abilities and was nice to slow down and relax a bit. We spent the first half of the evening doing energy exercises : feeling our own energy by holding our hands out in front as if holding a football and feeling were you sense resistance. Shutting down and then re opening to universal energy and feeling the difference is mind blowing , even our resident sceptic to healing was blown away! As someone nicely put it last night, "Its the difference between holding a tennis ball and then holding a beach ball" !! We also did the same in pairs before and after breathing in Universal light and had to give the sitter one message about themselves . Its a wonderful way of really feeling the difference from every day being to the expanded energy we work with in medium ship and healing. We then grouped into Reiki levels and non Reiki levels and partnered up to practise and connect for a psychic or clairvoyant message for the recipient.

I felt it was actually easier to connect once we'd done the energy work and I need to remember the practise of it when working. It was also great to receive feedback on my healing as I generally only practise on my girls. I have done my father for 10minutes post Reiki II and he found it immensely soothing and my mother in law before my Reiki II, (which really is- at level I- as our teacher says an "inspired Spiritual healing") , but to get outside validation is great for this work. The sitter said she never normally relaxes , but that with my short session she very much felt deeply calmed. To know that I'm channelling something and this is having a strong effect is a great feeling. To know its helping someone feel good is the best feeling I could ever get. The healing I received from her in return was wonderful and the end to the evening at my lovely friends home - were she fed me after (spiritually and physically), gosh you get soooo hungry after circle- I think has helped me re evaluate some of the odd stuck place I got my head at recently.

Ive noticed the time and seen that its just after 11:30 pm. Normally I would keep going until way past midnight , but so I can get some much needed down time, I will keep this post briefer than normal and head off to get into sleep mode. If I set a small intention now , it may help discipline me through the days.

I thank the universe and the friends for the gift of their time and the experience of the evening.

Night all x

10 new tracks, 2nd birthday and a wordy break

Image care of Microsoft clip art

As you may have realised Ive not been here much and I hope my readers will not disappear on me. My cupcake is on school holidays and shes been at summer camp a few days a week , but its now finished , but her school holidays continue for another 4 WEEKS!!!

I don't think its just the kiddies that get tired after a long school term , but us mums too. Especially when you mix in all the things I do , I feel like I have 4 different lives!! Ive been non stop busy day and night and not sleeping well either. Too much adrenalin kicking in (and old worry tapes) , to keep my body going, for late night internet usage is wrecking my eventual night-time shut down and I don't have time to do my Self healing Reiki session ! I think Ive become partially insomniac and its not good! So Ive had to take a bloggy break for a little bit here and there. I hope to continue to post but I may cut it back a bit to may be 1 post a week Im not sure yet , I just need to try managing my time everywhere a bit less hectically!!

I have continued to attend my circle and found I'm struggling there , despite being told my work is good , my teacher can see that my energy isn't up and I'm fluctuating a bit to much to have good clarity and flow . I definitely need to slow down a bit somehow! Someone picked up on me wanting to make a change to things and start a new endeavour - Reiki practise and Voluntary work- but I cant quite push through a block I have in starting it all and I need to do some work on that. I know what it is , but haven't sorted myself out as yet and need to do some thing about self discipline in all sorts of ways!

Anyway on to my 10 new tracks as done by Monique at Escape Hatch

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend play list...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)"

I didnt find this an easy task this weekend (also play list.com dont always list the music I listen to here at chill radio). Ive not been in the car as much and when I have the Ipods been off as my in car chargers not working and I keep forgetting to charge it! I did drive he the mans car yesterday though and hes got his Ipod on random and some of whats on my play list is what came up.

It was my little cupcakes 2nd B'day yesterday and we had family over. I cant believe shes 2 , its like, were did that go? I cleared out her draw of grow bags and blankets this morning and got all choked at thinking her never being a baby again. I cant quite throw them out yet. Track 9 is dedicated to her as she has it on a cd I play her for bedtime, although its a different version to the one we have.

Image care of Microsoft clip art

He the mans and I also attended a friends Birthday party last night and both drank rather a lot. So we had to have a lovely norty fry up, us and the girls this morning scoffing outside on our deck together , alongside chill radio playing . I haven't done that for a very long time, eating together on the deck and it was a lovely brief fleeting moment of family time. As for the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad fry up, everything in moderation I say!!!!

1. Chasing Pavements by Adele
2. Band Of Brothers Suite Two by Michael Kamen
3. Moondance by Van Morrison
4. Caravansary by Kitaro
5. Dream Catch me by Newton Faulkner
6. Know How by The Kings of Convenience
7. Cafe Del Mar `98 by Energy 52
8. Journey by The gentle People
9. An Irish Lullaby (Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra) by The Brobdingnagian Bards
10. Belle by Jack Johnson

Behind the rip curl

Image care of MagicSeaweed (check out the photographs - awesome!)

I have a theory, (it might be crackpot but here goes), when propelling yourself forward in a new direction , healing the old and becoming a new , a momentum has to build to carry you forward. I spoke to my father about changes and introspection today and he mentioned the catastrophe theory(used more in sports performance), but I couldn't find anything on that that I could quite understand . It also didn't quite correlate as the metaphor for my journey of late.


To me whats happening is more of a "behind the rip curl " stage : As the sea rises into a large wave from the edge of the shore it creates a curve that builds power and momentum. Taking in the flow and the power of the sea behind and before the point of forward propulsion , it is in reverse and rises higher looking back on itself before the final leap over its original direction , to join the shore again. A surfer stands within the curl using its energy to ride through. I think that's were Id like to be , that is what I aspire to , symbolically speaking , letting it all happen around me , able to stand within and be less affected. At the moment I'm sitting behind that curve waiting to leap up on the top and catapult into my new way of being, traversing a new path.

As with all healing, learning & changing you will go through a period of discomfort ,a temporary detachment, may be extra pain, feeling low, unsure and may be some extra heartache. It may feel like all the old tapes are playing and all old behaviours have come back to sit on your shoulder , you may feel awkward and have a great unease. Sounds great doesnt it!!

There's a reason for this , unpleasant as it may be . It is so that you can see what it is that needs to be dealt with , what needs a re think , what new ways need to be learnt and what is needed no more - ahhhhh to get rid of things , not only do I horde in my house , I horde old ways in my head!! Great and positive changes can occur after this stage, but unfortunately it cannot be avoided, whats needed is some support along the way - writing about it is one way , talking to others on the same path is another , oh and also some silly distraction, like working on surfing metaphors, to help along the way!

Image care of Made in England by Gentlemen

Where do think you are on the rip curl ? I think I might just be the ickle bitty fish above !!?

10 songs

The first iPod??

Image care of Stoker at safety joke

following Moniques latest post

"10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and
one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you
picked the songs you did)"

Here's my current playlist. Its sorta jumbled and eclectic. I often play them in the car when doing my little tiddles taxi service and I get asked to play several of them over and over!

Some are from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back , some are different versions of my own as I cant find them , some are fun , ones about being persistent , some are about introspection or not being introspective, some are about love and relationships whether its the difficult bits or the joy of it . Alot just speak to me on different levels . Its all a bit of mix like me really !

1. Closer by Ne-Yo (I'm feeling the bit about "I just cant stop")
2. Try Again by Aaliyah
3. American Beauty by Thomas Newman
4. Don't Look Back by Telepopmusik (little cupcake has just said this reminds her of summer)
5. Para un Angelito by Monica Ramos
6. With every heartbeat by Robyn (cupcake shouts the words out to this in the back of the car!)
7. 1 Thing by Amerie
8. Whenever Wherever by Shakira
9. Versions of Violence by Alanis Morissette
10. Think about me by Artful Dodger

If you want to listen Ive added the play list widget at the bottom of my blog.

Spirit intervenes

It seems they want me to STOP !!!

Sometimes you just have to stop as you have no choice; Stop the dialogue, stop the brain activity, stop talking, stop writing, stop running around and just BE. It’s not been easy and in some cases we just had to - well sort of, having been to 5 different social events including 2 parties in 5 days!!- hence the reason for so little posting - I apologise for anyone who actually reads this stuff and enjoys the lid being removed from my head every now and again, for having nothing fresh to write about for nearly a week except my nostalgic and sentimental video- more about the reasons for that soon!

Over the weekend and in less than 48hrs all our lights blew and the house was in total darkness, the front door bust and it could not be locked or unlocked, and we had to stay at home all day Saturday for the locksmith and electrician to rescue us! Then over the last few days my laptop keeps freezing and yesterday I found that the pads of my toes and just below are all swollen and sore, except I don’t recall having any accident or hurting myself, strange huh? It’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened either.

I realise I don't sit down and I'm not in my house for most of the day. When home I'm running up and down the garden rescuing little pickles and cupcakes, washing up, cooking, bathing kids and getting us all ready to go out. When out I’m, shopping, collecting or dropping off cupcake , involved in training classes for Reiki and mediumship on Sundays every few weeks, rushing to get to circle in the evening middle of the week or some other evening school social event or just standing here at the laptop writing for my 2 blogs.

All of it involves activity (non stop), whether it be of the mind and body or with the expressive spaces I need to have; constant writing daily. I’ve mentioned before being grammatically challenged and when life gets hectic it’s sometimes even more of a push.

He the mans despairs of me in the evenings, as I can’t stop and just sit with him. I'm constantly in a state of flux, forever needing mental stimulation or distraction, thinking up new subjects to discuss or food ideas to make for Nosh of Love , (well for he the mans to make!). The result of which, I don't get to sleep till near 1am and average 6hrs a night of sleep. This I’ve found is really not enough for me. The end result lately is a lovely mix of, as you can see from my last post: irritability, tearfulness and behaviour no better than a 5 yr old and a feeling that I can’t do it all for everyone, oh and a messy house!!!!

I'm not aiming for sympathy here , a lot is my own doing , as I know I stretch myself in too many different directions and am now endeavouring to put myself through a course of CBT to top it all off , but I wonder : How many of us are like this and use it to avoid sitting alone with our thoughts? Also, how do we fit it all in with children and get to bed early? (Yes I know the main answer is you don’t!!).

So I sense that many would say, cut some of it out. This may mean less blogging or just less social events for my girls and me on my own time in the evenings or weekends. The deeper issue being: why am I avoiding the alone time, what is it I need to get hold of in me and cut out? My main dichotomy is I like to be alone, quiet, free spirited and not tied to anyone or anything, but also on the flip side, I’m keen on moving my life in a new direction and I love being with others and going out!!

I'm aware that I need to meditate more, as this is key to making lots of areas flow better in life, but this constant adrenalin kick means I find it hard to switch off and flick to down time.

My main thought is to just turn the laptop off, (or not even turn it on, GASPPPPP) , not allow the TV to go on at all and just go straight up to my room , (the most peaceful space in this house) , after my girls bed time and just sit with my iPod and here’s a little tip for those who find it hard to go alone on this and need some help , listen to the collection of guided meditations I’ve downloaded through iTunes from PodcastAlley.

I then also factor in not being with he the mans till late and then I'm back to my dilemma of how to make time for meditation and everything else I seem to need to do.

See it just goes to show, one can’t always practise what they preach, (or in my case and here’s my reverse self righteousness), use the tools I know very well how to use!

Sometimes you just can’t do it all and sometimes spirits do things so you can’t do it all, whilst writing this my server decided to slow down to a snails pace and then came to a complete STOP. I had to quickly save this to word to continue it and prevent its loss.

It seemed they didn’t want me on the laptop last night either to finish this post, as my browser then wouldn’t even load. I think the message finally got through ; I need to relax more and find a more balanced approach!!!!

So yes spirit, my laptop went off for the rest of the evening and as you know I sat in the garden for dinner!!

I am now trying to get this is out in the blogger world this morning.

Namaste all

X

Use Sunscreen

Tears , tired, these words :

Monique asks :

Image care of Feuillu on Flickr - Light lines (cc)

Another great question was posed in my comments to me by Monique last week and I thought it was such a good one that it inspired another post and a way to introduce a little more about what I do.

When you say you are a healer, how does that comes into play w/ your gift? I
hear healer and try to combine it w/ your gift and think uber concentrated
psychiatry.

Now brace yourselves for the tree hugging bit , its coming , so press pause on your belief systems for a minute!

A spiritual or Reiki healer, (these being different methods or modality's), is merely a channel for universal energy, divine essence, universal light, G%d light, life force or divine light . Call it what you will, it basically boils down to sending through unconditional love from the other realms beyond the physical to another by the laying on or laying over of hands. When I heal ,(in whatever modality) its not actually me doing the healing. I'm purely a vessel/channel source to send it through to the recipient. Do you need me to connect with this ? Probably not ,but not everyone allows themselves the time or the space to enjoy these moments. So going to a healer initialy may be a very good way to start.

There are many who don't see it as a gift and many see it as unproven and according to law I'm not actually even allowed to say that I'm channeling or healing anything. If I'm able to see-clairvoyance-, hear clairaudient- or feel - clairsentience -, a passed relatives of yours it is now deemed to be entertainment only. So wording what I do has become a very tricky thing indeed.

My "gift" comes into play when doing mediumship work, as I suppose I don't feel that my gift is healing ,yes it is a gift to be doing the work and be "of service" to others, but I feel more that mediumship is were I seem to have some kind of ability.

I can be doing healing and yes very much pick up on things physical , but according to healing codes of conduct I'm not allowed to prescribe or diagnose from this sensing as I'm not a doctor. I can guide someone to may be see a GP or even just be careful in one area or another and again that's hard as there are so many layers of organs, muscle and tissue. I cant pretend to know the anatomy either. Well that is unless your laying there with a 6pack! I will not be claiming to cure , neither to eradicate any illness or diseases. I can tell you you will be relaxed , may sleep better or just feel calmer, if because of this you feel better or your disease coincidentally improves , I will not be able to say that it was due to my work. So yes I can say what I do is beneficial and enhancing for your life.

I may very well pick up on things to do with your personal life , but again ,as Ive been asked to do healing , then healing is what I will offer. Once I cross over into merging the two , then clients would just come on the pretext of healing and end up receiving a reading to , (and I'd have to charge a two for one offer!!!!). Yes I will be using the same energy to heal and do a reading , (when I say reading , I mean psychic - personal and about YOU- or clairvoyant and about linked passed relatives or friends), but I will try my hardest to keep them very separate. I hope to always work with integrity , so with regards to personal information ,(like you may be kissing someone who's not your boyfriend, or your mums a secret agent, or you haven't bathed for 4days !!!), I would keep it in the strictest confidence.

With regards to any psychiatry (ooh shiver!!) , I wouldn't want to go into those realms and don't even dare to, I'm probably more of a mess than they are!!!!!!!

Basically I just want to give you a bit of lurrving and not the touching kind!!!! Well may be your heart!

Beautiful

Going back a bit further

A few days back I thought it would be good to connect via blogs with other like minds, so during my search I found this informative spiritual blog. Late nights seem to be my blog catch up time, so tonight after my circle groups dinner get together (we like to do something even if the class is off every now and again for continuity) , I had a little look at it. Whilst writing up my becoming post this afternoon , I thought to myself I’m sure I’ll forget some of the things I used to do in my teens with all things spirit and lo and behold the latest post on Lucid is her experiences when younger with meditation and Ouija boards in the garden of her home. It sparked off a memory of a very interesting time.

I’ve recently got connected again with a very old friend from school and it was with her at around 15-16 or so that I encountered my 1st séances and guided meditations with our young friend J from the States. We would go and sit in his lovely rambling house not far from were I lived, with all the lights off and candles lit en masse. I think we did it mainly as parlour games, but I knew inside that I loved every minute.

The evening would start in his lounge, all silly and joky and as the night progressed things would get eerier and eerier. We would then move to the dining room were we all sat in the dark holding hands (screaming no doubt at all the noises) and then end on his bed (all of us) all laying like sleeping lions with him saying in slow tones “ you are now standing on an escalator and as you go down , you feel your whole body becoming heavier………….” . I’m not sure if at this point I sensed anything except the hairs on the back of my neck standing up , but I just couldn’t get enough of those evenings.

So at every opportunity when I got the chance I would steer things in that direction: Whether it be at college with the Ouija board sneakily during class times hiding in the toilets with our cigarettes, (were my late grandmothers name was clearly spelled out and I was only an onlooker), or in various homogenous dorm rooms, with booze and again screaming. I do remember though one evening where things got very creepy and nasty. The answers coming out on the board being of a very unpleasant nature that I thought to myself, I’m not sure if this was how I wanted to experience things in that way anymore. I remember walking away from the board and not wanting to go near it for a very long time. Possibly this may have set me on the quest for the proper way to do things, this is when all the right books started coming my way.

Ask and thee shall find