Stuck

Will find inspiration and come back to this space!

Above is the sentence I put on here about 2 weeks ago, saved it to my edit posts menu with a blank page and have only come back to it today!!!


Before that I had a whole two paragraphs written in this space and found that I just couldn't post them and wiped them off as the content was all about some personal things happening socially. I don't know what that says about my integrity , but hey I'm being honest right now in the fact that Ive been drawing a blank since mid October in what to write here.


Despite this "writers block", or rather "what do I share with readers block", Ive had lots of varied life experience things going on : Much of those "personal things" had to do with friendships, trust and uneasy human interactions, some with my closed development circle and all the amazing phenomena we've been experiencing there, (which I'll share at another time when my words flow more freely) and some to do with my little girls and their growth. I know it all seems a bit vague but I'm needing some more time to digest the last few weeks and find a way of moving forward and learning from things whilst staying positive and not hurting myself in the process. I work every day balancing how I'm treated and how to treat others and its not always easy.


A good friend across the pond suggested I shut this down and start a fresh somewhere else , which might be a good idea considering all things. The only thing is I invested a lot of time and thought into this space and its design and I don't feel ready to move on from it. Its just something to consider as I don't think I can be as open as I would like here.

I also think this blog needs to have more of a USP to keep it fresh and vibrant. It would be good to get some ideas on how to progress this space and make it feel purposeful or just even a bit more spontaneous and freer. I need to do a bit of work chewing on some new material and revisiting the many notebooks and lists I keep, for this feels like the equivalent of tires going round and round in mud and I don't like it!!!!

I'm hoping that things will just sort of happen to get this moving again and normally it just does. I almost need to do the Internet version of a sage cleansing, ( now that might make for some good material?)!! Its possible that spirit have stepped back again as I'm known to try and juggle every plate going and then add some more, but lately its been much harder to keep it all going.

If anyone's got any ideas, that would be a great!!!

If you stay here whilst I sort of re boot a bit, that would be fab. I'm hoping its just another of my glitches in the programming !!!

Namaste to all those who visit here

Hana Mi

Wow 1000+ visitors to my blog !!!

Its official, Ive had over 1000 visitors yeeeahhhhhhhh, I know thats nothing compared to many in this ere blog world , but for me in my world , its kind of cool ! I'm also waaaay past my blogs half birthday!

I think firstly I'd like to say hi to those who come here , I hope you stay and visit often and secondly Thank you , if you've stayed around to read this space, well done to you, you deserve a gold star for reading !!! It would be great to hear from you (even if you stumbled upon here by accident ) and I hope that some of you who drop by will leave some messages, as its great to hear from those who read my minds wanderings!

Soooo how do I mark this occasion ? Anyone have any ideas???? Id love to know how Im doing here , if theres a subject someone would like me to discuss or indeed if anyone has questions, I'll do my best to answer.

Right now my life is at a crossroads , my application has been handed in for Reiki volunteering to be seen by the Hospice board of trustees , my professional Indemnity insurance to be sorted this week and I'm in limbo , waiting at the bus depot , wanting to be on my way!!! I shall be soon I feel, but in the meantime I need to do things that are a help, give my life a bit more texture and get me by . I also need to find ways to really boost my energy , (well apart from having earlier or undisturbed nights and 6 am starts!) , as it fluctuates like a yo yo.

Here are a few things that have been happening ;

I have had some little synchronicities in a cluster and several with regards to a teeny little book I keep by my bedside and have had for many years . I use it as a sort of book of answers before bedtime, by asking "what is it I need to know? " and then opening it !! Its called Women Power and each page is an idea or action on how to deal with different aspects of life . Each time Ive opened it randomly lately the theme of the pages has directly related to the thoughts and ideas at that very time! It may seem generalised but the timing in relation to the goings on has been spot on. I like to think spirit is helping to say : "yes Hana Me , you are going in the right directions, keep on , keep on". Sort of like an employers appraisal!!!!

My little cupcake has been a little troubled of late as you may know from previous posts. An idea I had recently to help her think of things she enjoys , was to create her a Happy list, but as she doesn't write or read properly we thought it should be pictorial and also have short descriptions so she can try word recognition . When I happened to open the book that night , lo and behold it opened at the pages suggesting that a good way to stay positive is to write an appreciation list!

He the mans and I these days seem to be ships passing in the night : both busy with our daily lives ,both out on different evenings, not spending much quality time together , hardly having any time to catch up , so as normal one night last week after a particularly bickery grumpy evening together . Id mentioned that we seem distant of late. I opened the book and the page I came to immediately was called "get him to talk it over" and was all about getting your man to open up about things. This with he the mans isn't the easiest endeavour as hes very straight and a keep it to yourself kinda guy , but reading that just reminded me that we need to have some heart to heart time, Ill break him in gently and see!

Another time very recently was my mini crisis of motherhood last week , especially in concern with little cupcake , it came to loggerheads and I wasn't sure what to do or how to change things for the better for her, or us as a family . I again retired to bed and thought for a few minutes, opened the book and it was a section on respecting motherhood and remembering statements about doing our best and no mother is perfect. Funnily enough the same time I was given a tip by a mummy friend on how to handle night time worries for a child , a way to give recognition of fears and distract all at the same time . I tried it this weekend and it seems to have worked wonders, we had a marked improvement.

I will close out for now , as both of my girls are quiet in bed and my body is asking for some relaxation time away from the screen.

I leave you with this from the Gaia Community :

In shamanistic cultures, synchronicities are considered to be teachings as well
as sign indicating where one should focus one’s attention, such correspondences
demonstrate the usually hidden links between the individual psyche and the
larger world. Synchronicities express themselves through chance meetings and
natural events as well as in dreams and supernatural episodes – for instance,
among the Secoya
shamans, a dream of seeing yourself in the mirror suggests that you will soon
encounter a jaguar in the rain forest. Shamans see such temporal conjunctions as
essential aspects of reality, revealing its ultimately dreamlike and magical
qualities.

Daniel Pinchbeck
Source: 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl, Page: 45